Wow...brain fart

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but I seem to be making some really bad decisions with regards to men. My latest episode is no exception.

Mr Man contacted me on RSVP, we chatted a few times online and then I decided it was all too hard and deleted myself.

I had second thoughts a week or so later as he seemed like a nice guy but not wanting to go through all the stress of wondering if I'm his type, I just decided to text him my blog address.

Now, let me point out that I was not sure whether I was into him...that's never my concern (as I can decide that later). I just wanted to know if he was into me.

So I did it. He called me immediately to say how 'brave' I was to give out my blog address etc etc etc and that he would read it.

As I have already mentioned, he read about 10 minutes worth on Saturday night....but hasn't looked at it since! He did call me however on Tuesday to say hi and ask me a couple of things..about me..and blogging etc. I told him then that I'd done a Vlog and he should have a look.

NUTHIN'!

He still hasn't had a look.

Bugger that!

I want someone who is interested in me. If he was interested, he'd read my fucking blog! Geez.

And no, he's not too busy, as he seems to have heaps of time to be online on the dating site so - that's it for Mr Man.

I doubt he'll even read this until I start rejecting his calls so, Mr Man...if you are reading this...

Cya!

Oh and don't worry guys, I won't be giving out my blog address again. Don't need to spend my time sitting around waiting to see if I'm 'good enough' for a man....EVER. God, how demeaning..and I put it on myself. Brain fart indeed!

Anyway, as I said, hardly knew the guy. Experiment F.A.I.L.

Das Ende.

VLOG - with sniffing....

...I have a cold...still

and I don't have a lisp, it's the audio!

and no, I had no idea I flicked my hair that much either!

Stupidity

Ok..so yeah, having second thoughts about giving out my blog address.

Stupid idea....stooopid.

I sometimes forget how much of ME is on here...and it's ALL here.

So, I got a text from him last night around 11.15pm asking if it was too late for a chat. It was too late 'cos I was asleep and didn't see it until this morning. Answered his text this morning but haven't heard anything since.

My stat counter shows that 'someone' viewed my site, the fibromyalgia link and the ticker factory link..right before 11.15pm. Then accessed a couple of other posts, ie the Skanky Frankie one and another one.

Don't tell me I'm doing too much analysing because I know I am right.

So, pretty sure he's just read the information on FM and done a runner and I don't blame him (although he did try to contact me so...shit, maybe I've got it all wrong). The list of symptoms is pretty extensive. He must think I'm a total bloody invalid.

But, what's done is done. Impressions have been made and can't be undone so I'll just put it down to bad judgement on my part. Lesson learnt. Was a stupid idea in the first place.

So, what I have decided to do, not for him as that's done now, but for ME is to change my header so there's no reference to me having Fibromyalgia. I'm also going to take down the weight loss ticker.

I want to do this because I don't like the idea that the first thing people are going to see when they open my page, is that I have FM and that I need to lose 10kg.

Those things do NOT define me.

The End.

EDIT - ok so now I feel like a COMPLETE loser as he called for a chat and he's not been freaked out or frightened off at all. My bad...

I shall call him...codename...Mr Man.

Suck it up Sunday

So, I'm feeling a tad stressed and anxious today. Not as stressed as Joan Crawford....but stressed nonetheless.

I've been on leave the last week and it's not all quite gone as planned, ie relaxing and carefree.

I go back to work tomorrow, which normally wouldn't phase me in the slightest, but due to an 'incident' with another staff member the day before I was due to go on leave, I have spent most of my time off worrying and stressing about having to go back.

To make matters worse, my car decided to give up the ghost on Thursday. The leaking water pump finally spat the dummy and the car overheated and stopped dead at a set of lights. Thank God for the RAC and their free towing.

It needs new water pump, new brake rotors, shockies, tyres, engine mounts, clutch.....are there any parts left I haven't covered? Not quite sure when I'm getting it back but hopefully before the kids go back to school.

And then to top it all off....I gave a guy my blog address. Oh yes I did.

I had a brain snap I think. I'm just SO over the anxiety, expectation and disappointment of internet dating that I just thought I'd hand 'myself' over and see what happens....kinda like that highly inspirational episode of 'Seinfeld' where George does the exact opposite of everything he would usually do.

The consensus appears to be that I shouldn't have....but bugger it. I did.

As for the other shit....I'm just gonna suck it up and know that it will all look better by Friday.

Things always look better on a Friday.....

The 80's - A Decade in Bad Hair and Fashion

1980 - Age 15.

Our first ensemble is the tube top and high waisted Californian cord jeans. Accessorised nicely by the white roller skates with pink laces. Every girl needs a flash ride...and I can be seen here with my soon to be first car, the 1979 Holden Sunbird (which I drove from 1982 to 1992). Once I added my fluffy white sheepskin covers and fluffy white stuffed cat, it was PERFECT.

1981 - Age 16.

Here I can be seen gesturing towards the Adam Ant anti-smoking poster that was very popular at the time. Unfortunately I was chain smoking Alpine Lights by that stage so really don't know why I bothered with the poster. You can barely see the red velvet headband under the fringe of my FIRST EVER perm. I am also wearing a cut-off army shirt from the Wellington Army Surplus store in the city (I caught the train in!)

1983 - Age 18.

Here I am with some sort of weird perm/mohawk hybrid do. I am looking nervously at my weird boyfriend. I am very thin. Must have been all the drugs.

1985 - Aged 20.

I think I may have been drinking in this one. That is all.....

1986 - Aged 21.

This is my 21st Birthday party and THE MOTHER OF ALL PERMS. I am wearing a pink and grey pin striped jacket with six inch shoulder pads. On the bottom half I am wearing shiny, baggy, grey/silver trousers, much like that guy in 'Miami Vice'. We had a smoke machine and Red Rooster catering.

1987 - Aged 22.

This is me during band practice (The Burning Boxcars). I am wearing a black and white striped shirt with purple HAIRY knitted leggings and some lovely white leather ankle boots. I had two pairs of white ankle boots. This pair was plain and laced up. The other pair was pull on and had a fringe.

1988 - Aged 23.

What was the 80's without a theme party? Toga parties were VERY popular back then. That is me and my flatmate Melanie. I am 5'8, she is 4'11. This night ended quite amusingly for me and some guy named Shipley. He turned out to be a stalker though.....

1988 - Aged 23

My 23rd Birthday. I am wearing black. That is my so-called friend Emma. Well she was actually just my flatmate's friend. We all had drinks before we went to a club but it ended up being a bit of a weird night 'cos I came down and found her trying to kiss my boyfriend. Bad Emma. She did look nice in a beret though.

1989. Aged 23

That is me and my little sister Donna. It is Donna's birthday. We are happy and drunk. Well I am happy...she is not all that happy after I slept with one of her little friends. I am wearing braces. I am also wearing really high waisted leggings with stirrups and shiny aviator boots. I am cool. I have no perm but I do seem to have acquired Brooke Shield's eyebrows.

1989

My cousin's wedding. My sister and I loved our dresses. We called that pleated bit at the front, that kept falling down, a 'spewbucket'. There is also a giant bow at the back, and my hair is 'crimped'. Her groomsman was more fun than mine. He took us back to the hotel room to smoke drugs so that we could cope with how we looked. We enjoyed the reception immensely..so I've been told.

1990 - Aged 25.

Still with the big hair. I am on a picnic with my new boyfriend Andrew (who I later married...had kids with ...and divorced). I am not wearing pants. It was a good picnic.

That is my tribute to the 80's. I can't really remember the rest......

Thought for the day

Fickle Frankie

What IS it with me?

Am I an adrenaline junkie? Do I have a desperate need to be seen...for attention?

Can't I just get my shit together and DO my stuff and not need any outside stimulation?

Obviously not.

So, I did it again. This is about the sixth time in the last couple of years.

I think to myself that I would like a fella. I put my face and profile up on a dating site. I befriend a couple of chat buddies, tell guys that I'm interested so they buy 'stamps' and email me. I chat and email for two or three days and then.....I pull the plug. TOTALLY. No goodbye's...no explanations.

Seriously, if I ever really, really, genuinely want to meet someone, via the internet, I'm gonna need totally new photos and profile or no-one's gonna come near me for fear of me doing another runner.

I musn't be ready (after NINE years single). The thought of a relationship still makes me hyperventilate.

I need a "date-o-meter", posted on my blog. If I get all weird and it starts going into the 'red', people can whack me so I get back in my hole. (said date-o-meter now added).

Sounds like a plan......

Over it

I just don't feel like talking about my life right now, especially my weight.

Will keep my "ticker' up to date and will pop back when I get under 70kg with some awesome progress photos.

Real life beckons!

My secret mini-crush

As you know, I love a man who can make me laugh, which is why I have an teeny weeny crush on David Thorne.

If you haven't already, you really should check out his website HERE, but be warned, you might be on there a while.

You know you're hot when.....

...your daughter tells you that her friend, who met you for the first time yesterday, said - "your mum is pretty sexy for an old lady".