Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Date Report Number 327 aka Don's Party (at Frankie's place) - Part 1

Soooo.....yep. Had a date. First one for about 6 months...probably more.

I hadn't planned to date again. Not for a few months anyway, but I accidentally got chatting to a guy on about 3 weeks ago, when my sister was here. I just wanted to think about something other than my cousins death I guess.

He was nice. A short, but to the point profile. Funny 'interests' and he seemed genuine. He also rode a Triumph ...let's call him 'Triumph Boy'. It turned out we'd actually gone to school together but just didn't know each other. We knew many of the same people though. Triumph Boy and I chatted every second day for a couple of weeks and then I suddenly had a free weekend night, which also happened to also be - Election Night.

I casually mentioned that my free weekend was approaching (not my usual free one but a BONUS free one thanks to my ex-husband splitting up with Skankorama again and playing 'devoted dad' to keep himself busy).

The following day (Friday), Triumph Boy wasn't online but I left a message which included my mobile number.

Ok...this isn't rocket science..right? It's Dating 101.....Remedial Dating in fact. Girl tells boy she is free this weekend...then gives boy phone number - easy peasy I would have thought. But what do I get? A measly 'hope you have a nice day' text message...ummmm?

Another couple of random texts on Friday and then again Saturday morning, to advise me he had just voted. voted, I fucking voted and now it's time to ask me out!!!


So, it's 5pm and I'd resigned myself to the fact that I would be spending Election Night alone, glued to the TV, screaming at the Australian voter all night as I watched the numbers tick over. It was at this point that I decided that alcohol would probably ease the pain of Mr Rabbit kicking Joolia's arse so I broke out the Black Sambuca and a shooter glass.

Two shooters later and I'm feelin' gooooood. " what the fuck is Triumph Boy doing tonight?"

Surely he couldn't be sitting on the computer waiting for me to come online and chat? He has my phone number for FUCK's sake. I logged on....and there he is... *sigh*.

Triumph Boy says:

Frankie says:
is it sad that I like watching the election coverage?

Triumph Boy says:

Frankie says:

Triumph Boy says:
you bloody nerd....

Frankie says:
well. It's my first quiet weekend in WEEEKS. Thoroughly enjoying the downtime.

Triumph Boy says:
good for you....

Frankie says:
and my sambuca

Triumph Boy says:
no invite for me....oh well

Frankie says:
huh! you had my number!

Frankie says:
not my fault you wasted it!!

Triumph Boy says:
still got it

Triumph Boy says:

Triumph Boy says:
you never said nothin.....

Frankie says:
you're a dufus

Triumph Boy says:

Frankie says:
geez...i'm getting another sambuca

Triumph Boy says:
ans ya phone....

So.....he called. Hoorah! "You never said nothing"...? Seriously? Anyway, I STILL had to ask him over via the telephone as he just couldn't seem to figure it the fuck out. Jeeeezuz!

It was at that point that I started having doubts about Triumph Boy but it was too late, he was on his way. I hadn't shaved my legs in about 3 months so I didn't really have time to think about whether we were going to get married or not I just needed to find my goddam razor and get into some serious deforestation.

Now I should point out at this stage that I decided recently that I would pick potential partners as much as possible on personality, rather than looks. Although, when internet dating, there's not a lot to go on and I did think Triumph Boy was quite cute. I had also decided, prior to his arrival that there would be NO sex on the first date (no, seriously!).

However I must say I was a little disappointed when he rocked up. He'd gone from hip, cool and rugged looking guy with a bike and a mop of black hair in his profile photo, to Mr Bloody Average with a crew cut, knitted jumper and family vehicle (not that there's anything wrong with that..just was quite different to the 'display model' I had been admiring for the past 3 weeks).

Regardless of this sudden change of persona, he was still the same funny, laid back guy I'd been chatting to online. It was a fun night.

We sat at the corner of our separate sofas and chatted away, for a few hours, randomly screaming at the TV...all very civilised. At one point however he did sniff my neck....which I liked. Not long after that I seem to remember leaning over and laying a big kiss on him. It was ok. He's a bit of a slobberer. And then I fell down.

I decided that I'd had enough to drink. He'd also had enough and I invited him to sleepover on the couch..which he did. A few hours later he woke me up to say he was leaving..this was about 3am. He wanted to make sure I was ok with that. I was more than ok. I felt like utter crap and really didn't feel like having anyone witness my disgusting hangover in the daylight so was happy to wave goodbye and crawl back into my hole.

And that is the end of Part 1.

I will attempt Part 2 tomorrow but I'll tell you doesn't end well.


Kitty said...

if you hate him, then so do i. xxx

Frankie said...

Thanks Miss Kitty! Well I did hate him for about 5 minutes...then I kinda forgot what he looked like.

Erika said...


Casey said...

I soo wish men were born with the 'read between the lines' gene.

judes said...

Without hearing the whole "chapter 2" thing, it doesn't read like a total disaster -unlike election night in general ;p

Frankie said...

Men are idiots. I'm so over it I can barely bring myself to finish the story!

Ms Smack said...

Funny funny! What's happening next? Did he call again? or whah?


Frankie said...

part 2 coming soon! I've just about lost interest.....

Bambam said...

Not all guys are as thick as Failure Boy (sorry but "Triumph" doesn't cover it).

If you gave me your phone number I would a) call you, b) ask you out, c) take you somewhere half decent, d) have painted such a woeful picture of myself you would be ECSTATIC when you saw me!! ;-)

Frankie said...

Hi Bam Bam!. Yeah that's about what I do! I'm so good at talking myself down.

Bambam said...

Your picture is pretty hot though, if you don't mind me saying so.

Frankie said...

Thanks :o) I have major fatness/confidence iSSues...