Sunday, January 31, 2010

Back on the dating horse

Yes I know I am supposed to be in my man-proof cave, but unfortunately my cave does have email and mobile phones.
I hadn't intended on dating at all this year, until I got my health issues sorted and got fit again. Social Worker Guy (SWG) contacted me out of the blue after we met online last November and now 'Wall o' Man' has contacted me also.
'Wall o' Man' is a really nice guy I got chatting to on a dating site in October last year (named Wall o' Man cos he's 6'5"). He's a really positive, open person and very much appreciated that I was the same way.
He asked me out for coffee after one chat but I stalled and put him off as I was in the midst of packing to move house and on the verge of losing the plot, dropping out of uni and having a mental breakdown in general.
So, I put him off until I moved house and got my internet going. Then, right when he contacted me again, SWG popped up (I'd contacted him a couple of weeks earlier but it took him a while to get back to me). I took an instant liking to SWG and made up more excuses as to why I couldn't meet with Wall o' Man.
Then.....SWG fobbed me off, I got stressed about exams and told Wall o' Man that maybe we should just wait until after Christmas as we were both so busy and he was moving house blah blah and I hadn't heard from him since then.
So, yesterday I was sitting around, drifting off into memories of recent nice times spent with SWG, completely forgetting what an arse he was to me in the end. I texted him (yes I'm an idiot) and received a really rude reply.. What a fucking turd. Glad I did it though as it slapped me back into reality and reminded me of his true nature - an angry little fucker.
Within MINUTES of his text reply however, I received a lovely little email from Wall o' Man saying he was all settled in to his new place and enquiring as to whether I had by some chance, gotten married over the Christmas/New Year period.
I advised him, that I am as free as a bird. I go again....
PS - for those of you who are under 40, the photos are from the most awesomest of movies, Cat Ballou, made the year I was born (1965).

Monday, January 25, 2010

My Family Tree - Flag Style

With all the Australian flags waving around the place the last couple of days I got to thinking about my heritage and all the other flags that have brought me here, a first generation Australian.
So, here is my family tree, but using flags showing my parents, grandparents and great grandparents' country of birth.
I quite like being a mongrel! How does your flag tree look?
Have a wonderful Australia Day, whatever you're doing (I'm having a quiety myself).


Wednesday, January 20, 2010


What is it about being in my man-proof cave that I love so much?

It's just like life before but a little bit better. There's a little less stress and WAY less reasons to feel insecure about stupid shit.

I like it, and am more than happy to hang out here for a while.

I'm putting the hot wax away and becoming a cavewoman again.

Neanderthals - Do NOT disturb.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Now...moving on.

Hey guys. Thanks for all your comments on last night's post. They were SO appreciated xxx
All is cool now. Tonight my babies come back after 2 and a half weeks away, and I can concentrate on what is really important to me.
So..this is the last post I will write about Social Worker Guy and that's IT.
I must say that I'm actually a little disturbed that he wanted to come over and put all that shit on me in person. Who does that? He lives half an hour drive away and wanted to drive all the way here to tear me down face to face. It's kinda scary....that he would need to do that.
I also gave him the link to this blog. Kinda "burning my bridges" type thing. I know after reading it he'll never contact me again. He doesn't like ME.......this-IS-me.
Hmm.....I guess it hasn't really been a successful foray back into the dating scene after nearly 5 years of self-imposed exile. Since April last year I've been 'rejected' by 3 guys I liked and had 2 others who said they were going to call, not call. Luckily I have the constitution of a rubber band these days and bounce back pretty quickly.
But, that's it for now. Back into my man-proof cave to work on other things WAY more important.
It's all good :o)
Edit - ok yes having a wee bit of trouble letting go of this one..but..just had to add that he said I was insensitive (for mentioning other men in his presence). He has no fucking idea how sensitive I really am. I quietly put up with him constantly poking fun at me for lying about my age on my dating profile when HE lied about his height! I rarely go out with guys under 6ft tall. His profile said he was 5'11" so I thought that was cool. He's not! He's shorter than me! But, knowing that if he lied about it on his profile he's probably sensitive about it I did not say ONE WORD....because I liked him. I'm such an insensitive bitch...
Ok...seriously that's it..zipping mouth shut NOW

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Skanky Frankie

Where to start? Fuck...

Well Social Worker Guy and I had a date last night (movies), my place..all good (at least I thought it was). I woke up this morning feeling really good about things. I really liked him..REALLY. (not going to waffle on about why cos I've done that already).

Anyway I get a text from him this morning saying that he needed to come over and see me today - to talk...GULP. Convinced it's going to be an "it's not you it's me" type scenario I asked if he could just tell me over the phone instead.

He didn't like that idea and stressed that "a phone call won't cut it". mind races. He's got some issues (yeah I know, so have we all) but I thought maybe he wanted to discuss them and possibly how we could work through them...ummmm - NO. After arguing a bit via text he finally called..

Ohhhh....apparently it IS all about ME.

Now...those of you that know me in real life (and those who have been reading my blog for a while) know that I love nothing more than making people laugh, usually at my own expense. I think you've read enough "real" posts by me to appreciate the parody of myself I enjoy playing up, mostly in my "Man Flesh Files".

It's what I do.

Sex is funny, lack of sex is even funnier. Relationships are ridiculous and dating is a joke. Let's not pretend otherwise. If you really know me you know that the flippant way in which I refer (in real life) to sex or my sexual encounters is nothing more than a continuation of that self-parody. Of course it's grounded in some truth, but it's not REAL., Social Worker Guy wanted to rake me over the coals about the fact that in the last two weeks I have mentioned, in conversation FIVE guys I had sex with (it was only actually 3 guys though as one guy got a mention 3 times).

Now...these weren't conversations I started about guys I've fucked. They were things brought up which were relevant to the conversation and just happened to involved someone who I had a previously 'relationship' with (relationship being, sex, dating..whatever).

But, according to Social Worker Guy, me mentioning these other men gave a "pretty good impression of being a skank", of a woman who just fucks guys and throws them aside and queried as to whether he would be so easily discarded.

I might just add at this point that the three guys I did mention, rejected ME in no uncertain was no discarding there on my part. Fuck..whatever, that's not the point. Apparently I am highly insensitive, a moron, an idiot...I dunno and a few other things I can't remember right now. 
Ya know...why couldn't he just be happy with the fact that I LOVED spending time with him, talking on the phone to him, just hanging out..'cos he fucking KNEW that was the case. But no, all he could focus on was the fact that I'd had sex...with other the past. Jeezuz. 

He's reckons he's confused by the fact that there are "two Frankie's".. The one he liked and the one who was giving the impression of being..a skank. At the time of the conversation I was full of tears and apologetic and agreed that I was fucked up and at fault. I'd managed to fuck up another budding relationship by being too.....'me'. And hey, I will admit to a smidgen of responsibility as I guess the sort of conversations I have with my mates...maybe not that appropriate to have with a guy on a date, but, I dunno...I was just really comfortable with him..and was just being


How the fuck can I be too ME? There's not two Frankie's, there is ONE...THIS ONE. And anyone who doesn't like me can go fuck themselves. I'm 44 years old. I grew up with an alcoholic father, an absent fucking mother, 3 years of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of a jealous lunatic at the age of 17, marriage, kids, divorce, study, MASSIVE poo cherries and you know what.???? -

I've fucking earned the right to be WHO I FUCKING WANT TO BE!

I'm not a skank, I'm not a whore I am a fucking honest, open, loving and kind person............unless you fuck with me of course. 
End of rant.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Back to reality

Back in November I was lucky enough to catch up with some of the Fitchix from Lindy Olsen's Forum. The gorgeous LJ (far left) was visiting from Melbourne and a few of us got together at the Blue Duck for breakfast. 

Not everyone is in the photo but Left-Right it's LJ (and grandbaby on lap), yours truly, Rae, Sarah and Michelle

Not pictured are Trudi, Hannah, Rae's flatmate Cheree and LJ's daughter Rhiannon. 

Was a great breakfast and so nice to meet some fitness minded women, some who I already 'knew' online but had not met in person and I adore them all. Glad I can get to meet some fellow bloggies, competitors and fitness professionals from Perth as this is where my future career will be (whatever that will be, although I am sure it will be health related). 

So..I briefly spoke to Michelle Nazaroff on the day about her individualised nutrition programs - based on metabolic type (as nutrition is my downfall) but I finally signed up with her last week. My program will probably be out in a week or so. Michelle has been an absolute inspiration of mine since I saw her win at the 2006 Natural Olympia in Perth and read her amazing story

I am SO looking forward to starting the program. I'm pretty confident with my's really something I need to monitor myself, but I do need specific guidance with nutrition otherwise I think it to death and just end up eating crap while I'm thinking. 

Ok..I think that's about it. Sorry I've been all about me me me lately..I've been really slack with reading/commenting on other blogs. I've had my sex goggles bad. 

Have a great weekend everyone. I know I will ;o)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


I mean he called me again last night (Tuesday), we spoke for over an hour and he's still not mentioned the possibility of catching up again. 


How the hell does this dating thing actually work? 

I need to do me some serious research....

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Words of Lust...

The other day, people were making fun of me on Facebook 'cos when us girls said what colour bra we were wearing, my answer was 'beige'. Yes! I do own a lot of flesh coloured undies and bra's cos I wear a lot of white. That's it. It's not like I don't own any other colour. date last weekend... 

As much as I wanted to get lucky, I didn't actually think I would. I was wearing quite a light coloured dress and thought I should wear my 'nude' coloured undies. It's not like they are fucking wranger stranglers...they were bikinis. I thought they were quite acceptable. 

Anyway, somewhere around the 7 hour mark of our date Social Worker Guy and I ended up on my bed in a state of semi-undress. 

Here is a transcript of the conversation that ensued. 

SWG: Your nanna called. She wants her undies back. 

Fifi: Go fuck yourself Mr "look at me I'm so cool with my pierced nipples"

SWG: So...does that mean I should cancel the reception?

The end.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Words of love....

Got a call from Social Worker Guy last night. Quite impressed as was actually a call..on my home phone...none of this texting crap. It's obviously true love. Here is a snippet of our conversation.
SWG : You know you tried to sabotage this last night. 

Fifi : What? How? 

SWG: You said "You know you don't have to contact me again after this " about 8 times during the night. 

Fifi : Pfft! No I didn't. 

SWG : um..yes you did. Why would you do that? 

Fifi : Well you look so young, I feel really old and decrepid next to you. 

SWG : Don't worry about it. I'm getting handrails installed in my toilet and bathroom for you. 

The end.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Nine Hour Date

Yep - 8pm to 4am 

Still too tired to do a proper report but just wanted to say that I'm an idiot and there were really no issues at all with him. No red flags, nothing. 

I just really like him and of course I'm doing what I usually do when I like someone (and when they appear to like me) which is analyse the crap out of it and get into a committment phobic panic. 

Bottom line - great date. Would love to see him again. 

The end. 

Going to try and have a nanna nap as I was up again at 7.30am (fucking cats!)

Mini Date Report

I'm confused. Really confused about how I am feeling at the moment.. Just don't know. Wasn't what I expected. I can't think straight right now as I've had about 3 hours sleep and feel like crap. 

Went to bed happy, woke up in a state of complete panic. 

Seriously...I have no idea how this is gonna go. He's really intense and not sure if I wanna go there....and a couple of other things I still need to process.... 

But he DID caress my naked body for an hour or so, all the while telling me how beautiful, it/I was so I guess that bit went kinda well...

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Pre-date Vlog

Raechelle asked for this (even though she's logged off for the weekend!)

He'll be here in 10 mins.


I must NOT....

....have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date. I must NOT have sex on the first date.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Fifi got a date!


It appears the Universe is rewarding me for putting my curvy bits out there (and NO...the person concerned did NOT see my blog!).

I was fast asleep at 9pm (having an early night) and I got a text from Social Worker Guy. Not going to go into too much detail but he was the one who I met on RSVP and there was a misunderstanding..blah blah..he was an asshole etc etc.

So..that was a couple of months ago. We'd spoken on the phone for an hour and a half at that time, and I couldn't figure out where things had gone wrong as he just fobbed me off after that. a text from him tonight, giving a hypothetical situation of a guy who was a complete asshole to a girl etc etc, the basic gist being - does he get a second chance and would I say yes if he asked me out?

It was a really nice few texts from him and I couldn't refuse. We then spoke on the phone for an hour and he was STILL apologising. Fuck it, I really like him :o)

Anyway he's picking me up at 8pm Saturday and we are going for a drink..somewhere...haven't decided where yet.

His timing couldn't have been better as (A) I have no kids for the next 12 days and (B) The Slovakian contacted me over Christmas/New Year (after I told him to fuck off two months ago) and I'd started pining over him again. This will snap me out of it for sure.

FAAARK! What to wear??

Cleavage is a must ....obviously.

Thought for the day

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Brave? Pfft!

Jen Hawkins - 25 year old former Miss Universe - NOT photo-shopped. Drop dead gorgeous yes...but brave?
Oh please...try 44 years old, two kids and 80kg - now THAT'S brave!

Go on...I DARE you!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Diary of a Stalker (Cyber Edition)

Friday 1 January, 2010
Dear Diary,
I thought I would start 2010 with some cyberstalking (that way I don't have to get dressed). I googled Blockbuster Guy's internet dating name to see if he was on any I could laugh at how he's still pathetic and single...much like myself.
He was noticeably absent from his usual haunts...RSVP and Oasis Active..but he popped up on...Red Hot Pie...that site for people wanting to have sex with other people.
Luckily I have anonymous random membership to that site from previous cyber stalking activity so I perused his profile.
There was no photo, but the tag line was "I'm horny and want some attention NOW". Very alluring.
I managed to resist his saucy come on but decided to send him a contact email anyway.
"Dear *insert his real actual name here*. You will never get any sex if you don't have your photo up".
The end.


Saturday 2 January, 2010
Dear Diary,
He hasn't replied to my email yet. I don't know why...
Today I'm going to play Wii with The One Formerly Known as Miss Moneypenny!
The end.


Friday, January 1, 2010

Beautiful Bloggies

Yep I've been tagged too. Thought I'd better actually do this one as the lovely Tearose has tagged me a couple of times and I've been too slack to do it! This time I was tagged by Ms Raechelle.
So 7 things you may not know about me....
  1. I have dual Australia/United States citizenship. Dad was a US Marine, mum is Sri Lankan.
  2. In the mid-80's I used to play keyboards and sing back up in a coverband called 'Boxcars'. We played in many of the pubs around Perth.
  3. I haven't been to the beach in about 6 years. I don't like the heat. I don't do bathers (would love to change that though).
  4. I won't wear my hair tied back in public because I am embarrassed about the acne scars on my cheeks so I swelter under my long locks instead.
  5. I cheated on my ex-husband with an ex-boyfriend. It was a year into our relationship and we weren't living together yet. I should have taken it as a sign then (but then I wouldn't have my gorgeous bratlets.) Only time I was ever unfaithful to anyone.
  6. I hand sew teddy bears with moveable limbs. I make them out of German mohair and they have glass eyes. I used to sell them for $60 but now don't have enough time to make them.
  7. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with The Slovakian, even though we have never met and probably never will.

I'm not tagging 'cos I think everyone's been covered!

Happy New Year!!