Changes...

I'm so fucking bored with it all.

My life, my attitude, my blog.

So, I'm changing those things, and making the life I want.

I'll still be blogging here, about my personal crapola.....not that I have anything exciting to report in that area..... but if I do, you'll be the first to know.

Gonna put my energies into my new blog. 

Still tweaking it and learning how to use Wordpress but should be up soon. 

Can't wait for some new adventures.

I'm not connecting my new blog to this, as it's going to be available to friends and family as well as 'blog buddies' and strangers (and would DIE if my mum read all about my sex life!) so if you would like my new blog address, please email me at fifidangerfield@hotmail.com

Those of you following my new twitter account will have it there on my profile.

Catch you later...

xxx

Monet's Garden

*skids to a halt*

Well fuck ME, that was one furious post break-up blogging frenzy (about mostly nuthin!).

I’m off for a vodka and a lie down.
 
Back when..ya know…something ACTUALLY happens…
 

Awesomeness...

RIP Rosie the Riveter

Rosie graced my blog header for my first 18 months of blogging.  Always an icon (article here)

'cos I AM

It's that time....

An ode to my cave

Man-proof cave I really luvs you.

You're where I go when there's cherries of poo

You keep me warm and safe and sane.

That's why I return, again and again.

Love Frankie

Umm....

Date Report - Amended

And this is what I do.

Defences up...way up, before I've even finished the drive home.   "He doesn't like me, he can't possibly.  Much safer if he doesn't."

I was self conscious on our date, but that's because he was kinda cute.

I liked that he kissed me on the cheek when I arrived.

I liked it when he put his arm around me to move me out of the way of rampant cyclists.

He had gorgeous blue blue eyes.

He said I was beautiful.

When he kissed me on the cheek to say goodbye, I wished he'd kissed me on the lips.

There...ok?

EDIT - I was slapped severely around the head and shoulders today by two of my oldest friends (nearly 30 years I've known them), who know my game, know my crap and know what I'm doing.  So, now I'm out there...hanging in the wind, waiting for some guy to call me.  Happy?

The usual fuck around....

So, it's Friday.
I have 3 kid free nights and NO FUCKING DATE!
The story thus far....
Mr Canuck called me Tuesday night. We chatted for about half an hour. T'was nice. Very nice accent I must say. He was called away by his daughter after a bit so wound up by asking if he could call me tomorrow (Wednesday) to organise coffee.
Wednesday came and went and no call. I did note however that he was online most of the day on the dating site. This shits me. I tried to kid myself that he was online waiting to chat to me, but I knew he was not. Bugger it. He's one of those guys who sits on there all day at work. I don't like it at all.
I'm perfectly happy to accept him chatting to several girls at once, as that's what I attempted (unsuccessfully) to do. But to just be logged in all day? Nup.
Anyway, by yesterday morning I was really pissed off and decided...as I usually do after a whole week on line, to kill my profile and disappear..which I did. Now this wasn't just because he didn't call..it's my usual modus operandi you see...I have the attention span of a goldfish when it comes to most internet dating scenarios.
I received quite a lengthy text from him later that morning, apologising for not calling (family crisis) and that he would like to call me later in the day if I was 'still keen'. I advised him that I was and that I looked forward to hearing from him.
*insert sound of chirping cricket here*
So......still haven't heard a bloody thing. I was a little worried as the family crisis (and I was given specifics) had potential to get significantly worse, and decided not to jump to conclusions but checked this morning and he's there..chat ready, online, on the dating site.
Jeeez....why do men keep disappointing me?
He does not deserve my lusciousness. None of them do.

Song for the day...

Date Report Number 327 aka Don's Party (at Frankie's place) - Part 1

Soooo.....yep. Had a date. First one for about 6 months...probably more.

I hadn't planned to date again. Not for a few months anyway, but I accidentally got chatting to a guy on OasisActive.com about 3 weeks ago, when my sister was here. I just wanted to think about something other than my cousins death I guess.

He was nice. A short, but to the point profile. Funny 'interests' and he seemed genuine. He also rode a Triumph ...let's call him 'Triumph Boy'. It turned out we'd actually gone to school together but just didn't know each other. We knew many of the same people though. Triumph Boy and I chatted every second day for a couple of weeks and then I suddenly had a free weekend night, which also happened to also be - Election Night.

I casually mentioned that my free weekend was approaching (not my usual free one but a BONUS free one thanks to my ex-husband splitting up with Skankorama again and playing 'devoted dad' to keep himself busy).

The following day (Friday), Triumph Boy wasn't online but I left a message which included my mobile number.

Ok...this isn't rocket science..right? It's Dating 101.....Remedial Dating in fact. Girl tells boy she is free this weekend...then gives boy phone number - easy peasy I would have thought. But what do I get? A measly 'hope you have a nice day' text message...ummmm?

Another couple of random texts on Friday and then again Saturday morning, to advise me he had just voted. Ok...yes...you voted, I fucking voted and now it's time to ask me out!!!

But....NOTHING.

So, it's 5pm and I'd resigned myself to the fact that I would be spending Election Night alone, glued to the TV, screaming at the Australian voter all night as I watched the numbers tick over. It was at this point that I decided that alcohol would probably ease the pain of Mr Rabbit kicking Joolia's arse so I broke out the Black Sambuca and a shooter glass.

Two shooters later and I'm feelin' gooooood. "Hmmmph..now what the fuck is Triumph Boy doing tonight?"

Surely he couldn't be sitting on the computer waiting for me to come online and chat? He has my phone number for FUCK's sake. I logged on....and there he is... *sigh*.

Triumph Boy says:

hic,,,,fark!!!

Frankie says:

is it sad that I like watching the election coverage?

Triumph Boy says:

yes

Frankie says:

hmph

Triumph Boy says:

you bloody nerd....

Frankie says:

well. It's my first quiet weekend in WEEEKS. Thoroughly enjoying the downtime.

Triumph Boy says:

good for you....

Frankie says:

and my sambuca

Triumph Boy says:

no invite for me....oh well

Frankie says:

huh! you had my number!

Frankie says:

not my fault you wasted it!!

Triumph Boy says:

still got it

Triumph Boy says:

huh....?....but,,,,but,,,,

Triumph Boy says:

you never said nothin.....

Frankie says:

you're a dufus

Triumph Boy says:

yep....

Frankie says:

geez...i'm getting another sambuca

Triumph Boy says:

ans ya phone....

So.....he called. Hoorah! "You never said nothing"...? Seriously? Anyway, I STILL had to ask him over via the telephone as he just couldn't seem to figure it the fuck out. Jeeeezuz!

It was at that point that I started having doubts about Triumph Boy but it was too late, he was on his way. I hadn't shaved my legs in about 3 months so I didn't really have time to think about whether we were going to get married or not I just needed to find my goddam razor and get into some serious deforestation.

Now I should point out at this stage that I decided recently that I would pick potential partners as much as possible on personality, rather than looks. Although, when internet dating, there's not a lot to go on and I did think Triumph Boy was quite cute. I had also decided, prior to his arrival that there would be NO sex on the first date (no, seriously!).

However I must say I was a little disappointed when he rocked up. He'd gone from hip, cool and rugged looking guy with a bike and a mop of black hair in his profile photo, to Mr Bloody Average with a crew cut, knitted jumper and family vehicle (not that there's anything wrong with that..just was quite different to the 'display model' I had been admiring for the past 3 weeks).

Regardless of this sudden change of persona, he was still the same funny, laid back guy I'd been chatting to online. It was a fun night.

We sat at the corner of our separate sofas and chatted away, for a few hours, randomly screaming at the TV...all very civilised. At one point however he did sniff my neck....which I liked. Not long after that I seem to remember leaning over and laying a big kiss on him. It was ok. He's a bit of a slobberer. And then I fell down.

I decided that I'd had enough to drink. He'd also had enough and I invited him to sleepover on the couch..which he did. A few hours later he woke me up to say he was leaving..this was about 3am. He wanted to make sure I was ok with that. I was more than ok. I felt like utter crap and really didn't feel like having anyone witness my disgusting hangover in the daylight so was happy to wave goodbye and crawl back into my hole.

And that is the end of Part 1.

I will attempt Part 2 tomorrow but I'll tell you now..it doesn't end well.

And furthermore...

Suck it up Sunday

So, I'm feeling a tad stressed and anxious today. Not as stressed as Joan Crawford....but stressed nonetheless.

I've been on leave the last week and it's not all quite gone as planned, ie relaxing and carefree.

I go back to work tomorrow, which normally wouldn't phase me in the slightest, but due to an 'incident' with another staff member the day before I was due to go on leave, I have spent most of my time off worrying and stressing about having to go back.

To make matters worse, my car decided to give up the ghost on Thursday. The leaking water pump finally spat the dummy and the car overheated and stopped dead at a set of lights. Thank God for the RAC and their free towing.

It needs new water pump, new brake rotors, shockies, tyres, engine mounts, clutch.....are there any parts left I haven't covered? Not quite sure when I'm getting it back but hopefully before the kids go back to school.

And then to top it all off....I gave a guy my blog address. Oh yes I did.

I had a brain snap I think. I'm just SO over the anxiety, expectation and disappointment of internet dating that I just thought I'd hand 'myself' over and see what happens....kinda like that highly inspirational episode of 'Seinfeld' where George does the exact opposite of everything he would usually do.

The consensus appears to be that I shouldn't have....but bugger it. I did.

As for the other shit....I'm just gonna suck it up and know that it will all look better by Friday.

Things always look better on a Friday.....

Thought for the day

Date F.A.I.L.

Now I know I'm going to sound like a superficial cow when I say this but if you have skinny arms, no shoulders, man boobs and a big gut and the dating site gives you the body type option of a) muscular, b) fit, c) average, d) a bit overweight ...which one would you choose? Well I wouldn't fucking choose MUSCULAR that's for sure!! Geeez.

He wasn't a Man O' Wall he was all hunched over and...hulking.

Oh and he was boring and didn't even offer to pay for my coffee!!!

I don't think he was that into me either so it worked out well.

The end.

PS: Yes I'm a bitch but I bought a new shirt FUCKIT.

Dating Wasteland

What is it with men?

Wall o' Man gets back in contact with me last Saturday, asking if I'm still available.

I advise him that I am and ask if he still wants to catch up...

It's now Friday.....my kid free weekend.....and.....

N-O-T-H-I-N-G

Lucky I haven't leased the cave out yet.

Back on the dating horse

Yes I know I am supposed to be in my man-proof cave, but unfortunately my cave does have email and mobile phones.

I hadn't intended on dating at all this year, until I got my health issues sorted and got fit again. Social Worker Guy (SWG) contacted me out of the blue after we met online last November and now 'Wall o' Man' has contacted me also.

'Wall o' Man' is a really nice guy I got chatting to on a dating site in October last year (named Wall o' Man cos he's 6'5"). He's a really positive, open person and very much appreciated that I was the same way.

He asked me out for coffee after one chat but I stalled and put him off as I was in the midst of packing to move house and on the verge of losing the plot, dropping out of uni and having a mental breakdown in general.

So, I put him off until I moved house and got my internet going. Then, right when he contacted me again, SWG popped up (I'd contacted him a couple of weeks earlier but it took him a while to get back to me). I took an instant liking to SWG and made up more excuses as to why I couldn't meet with Wall o' Man.

Then.....SWG fobbed me off, I got stressed about exams and told Wall o' Man that maybe we should just wait until after Christmas as we were both so busy and he was moving house blah blah and I hadn't heard from him since then.

So, yesterday I was sitting around, drifting off into memories of recent nice times spent with SWG, completely forgetting what an arse he was to me in the end. I texted him (yes I'm an idiot) and received a really rude reply.. What a fucking turd. Glad I did it though as it slapped me back into reality and reminded me of his true nature - an angry little fucker.

Within MINUTES of his text reply however, I received a lovely little email from Wall o' Man saying he was all settled in to his new place and enquiring as to whether I had by some chance, gotten married over the Christmas/New Year period.

I advised him, that I am as free as a bird.

GULP...here I go again....

PS - for those of you who are under 40, the photos are from the most awesomest of movies, Cat Ballou, made the year I was born (1965).

Cavewoman

What is it about being in my man-proof cave that I love so much?

It's just like life before but a little bit better. There's a little less stress and WAY less reasons to feel insecure about stupid shit.

I like it, and am more than happy to hang out here for a while.

I'm putting the hot wax away and becoming a cavewoman again.

Neanderthals - Do NOT disturb.