Valentine's Day Crush

Hey there.  Here's me and my fiance Bradley Cooper, in our annual Valentine's Day portrait.

Click here for last year's and here for 2010.

xxx

Photos from my iPhone

Nothing much to write home about so here's some random iphone snaps I've taken over the last couple of months.  Most are using either Hipstamatic or Instagram (I'm still sussing them out).  Byeeee...

T-Shirt Addicts Anonymous (T.A.A.)

 

I have quite a severe t-shirt addiction.  Retro T's in particular.

I know I'm not the only one.

C'mon guys....I know there's fellow addicts out there.  Kek.....Liz? 

Photos pleeeze!

Boobz...

...I haz 'em

Single again....

....and I'm more than fine with it.  This break up started 4 weeks ago and my feelings for him evaporated not long after. 

Not gonna talk details here, although some of you FB buddies already know.  HIS issues, not mine.

Not going to waste any more energy on it.

NEXT!!!...

MUMisms

My daughter is awesome, and growing up into such a beautiful young lady, both inside and out.

We don't get a lot of 'mummy/daughter' time these days.  She's usually occupied with friends either in person on online. But we do get some special time.

Lately, more often than not, that time has been in the car on the way to school.  It's a new thing.  She used to walk to school, now she's turned into one of those lazy teenagers I used to hear about - but I don't mind.

It's our time, every weekday, when I can spout - Mumisms.

Topics covered include -

dating/boys/sex

makeup tips

skincare

clothing tips

updates on MY love life

healthy eating

the importance of a good education

when is she going to get a part time job...

Ok...I call it 'special time'..she calls it TRAPPED IN A CAR WITH MY FUCKING MOTHER.

I predict she will start walking to school again VERY soon...

x

In a crazy, noisy room full of bellowing uncles, cackling aunts and screaming kids...

...he gently pushes my hair behind my ear and smiles down at me.

Bliss.

PS - shut UP

White Sheep of the Family?

I have pale skin and pale blue/grey eyes.....but I'm not 'white'.

I'm a first generation Australian of Sri Lankan descent.  

 I look just like my dad, he was from the U.S.  He was 'white'.  I am not.

People think I am.  People think I am like them.  But I'm not.  

People think it's ok to make racist jokes in front of me.  But it's not.

People are far too polite to make racist jokes in front of those of other colour or culture...those who are the butt of their jokes.   But it's ok to make the jokes in front of their 'white mates'...like ME.  They think it's not racist.  But it IS.  

So...to the guy at Kmart who makes fun of the Asian lady who speaks English with a strong accent - how many fucking languages do YOU know and how would you sound trying to speak something other than your native tongue?

To my ex brother in law who made condescending remarks about the table of Chinese people sitting in a Chinese restaurant, speaking.....CHINESE to each other...OMFG.  If YOU were in another country with your family/friends....what language would YOU be speaking?

To the English migrant c*nts who lived next door to my cousins when they were growing up and spray painted "ASIANS GO HOME" on their driveway - You have no idea of the pain you caused two young kids who were BORN in Australia.  The trauma you caused their mother, so much so, that she wouldn't let them outside in the sun in case they got 'too dark' and were made fun of even more.

I love this country, I was born here, bred here.... but sometimes I feel like I am suffocating.  The racism is EVERYWHERE and at every level.  I see it and FEEL it because you think I'm white.

But I'm not.

This post is dedicated to my beautiful cousin/godson Peter, who passed away one year ago today.

The kids and I miss you SO much xxx

The Return of RollerGirl?

So I'm a skater from way back....or should I say WAS a skater.  Actually I was only a skater for about 3 years, 1979 to 1981, but they were memorable years.  Now, 30 years on I am attempting a comeback!

Seriously,  I am totally obsessed with thoughts of skating again, to the point where I am dreaming about it.

It all started a few weeks ago when I went to the Rollerdrome with Ethan and Nerd Guy.  Nerd Guy can skate.  He's good.  He was a speed skater.  Number 1 son had a ball (see vid in previous post).  I did not skate.  I sat in the corner and watched, took photos, stuffed around on my iphone and surveyed the area for bogan threats... (assessment - Bogan Defcon - 4).  But, I was quietly SPEWING.  I wanted to be out there, but couldn't, due to dodginess of my lower back/sacrum from early this year.  Serves me right for not doing my rehab.  Not so much the skating part I was worried about, but the falling down part.

And then the dreams started...

See, the thing is - I thought I could still skate.  I thought I was just gonna get up there, take off and whiz around with the wind in my hair and Lady Gaga in my ears, leaving all and sundry in my dust.  It never occurred to me that actual skating would be the problem.

I started dreaming about skating, about about three times I think.  And these were positive dreams, so it appears that even my subconscious had no idea how fucking unco' I'd become.

Ya see usually if you are worried about something you have one of those 'disaster dreams'.  You know the ones.  You have an exam the next day - you dream that your alarm doesn't go off and you miss it.  You have a date  the next day - you dream you sprout a massive zit on the end of your nose...  

But, in my skating dreams I was totally fucking awesome.  I'd whack on my skates and I was off...rolling like the wind.  Nerd Guy featured in a couple of the dreams but in the last dream, during the couples skating song, a guest star made an appearance.  It was Eric Dane ... McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy.  SERIOUSLY.    Oh we had such fun, skating around hand in hand.  He'd occasionally flip around and skate backwards, gazing longingly into my eyes... but I digress...

So...yeah, really thinking I can skate at this stage.  I just assumed it would be like riding a bike...a skill that would just kick in when needed.  

I was wrong.

The other day (first day without rain for ages) I put my original skates on (apart from a change in wheels back in the 80's) and stepped out onto the front paving.  

One step, chucked the splits, splat.

That's how far I got.  That photo up top....not staged.  I refused to get up until Ethan came out and took a photo of me (even in pain I was thinking of Facbook/Blog value).  He had to help me up. I couldn't even stand up without losing it. He then DEMANDED I take my skates off.  There was a genuine look of fear in his eyes.  Not wanting to traumatise my baby boy, I obliged.

The next day at work I madly googled "skating lessons".  My plan - to undertake secret, intense training and surprise Nerd Guy.  I don't merely want to not fall down, I want to skate backwards, do clever shit.  I wanna be good!  It's also great, low impact cardio (again, if you do NOT fall down).

So that's the plan.  Of course I'm crap at keeping secrets and divulged  said cunning plan immediately to His Nerdness, who then offered to teach me himself.  While a lovely, romantic gesture (visions of Robby Benson teaching that blind chick to skate in the movie 'Ice Castles' ...click here if you are too young to remember), there is no way I am looking like an absolute frikkin' r'tard in front of Nerd Guy and his friends.

No way.

I'm not.

I mean it.

Eric understands...

Weekends...

...are awesome when shared.

Nerd Guy & Geek Girl

Sooo....I've been spending a LOT of time with a certain guy lately.

He's just lovely.

I could prattle on about how he's tall and handsome and smart and artistic - but I won't.

I could also write a page or two about how HOT I am for him - but I won't.

However I WILL say that for the last couple of weeks I've been smiling WAY more than I have done for a very long time :o)

Here's some photos of what we've been up to...

Ciao!

Naked

I'm not embarrassed by my indecision, or my highs and lows...

...my love, my fears, my shortcomings...

...my anger, my impatience, my heartbreak...


...my insecurities, my tears...

...my joy.

So, if you know me...you know ME...

And then you know...I'm gonna be just fine.

Stripped bare.

You should try it.

When I was a Rock Chick - Part 2

So....I was in, and it was awesome!

We had the perfect set up.

The drummer (my boyfriend) lived in what used to be his dad's engineering business in an industrial area of the outer suburbs.  It was a very large factory with living quarters at one end (which by this time I was living in as well).

The best thing about this set up was that industrial areas have no noise restrictions - we could jam 24/7 if we wanted.  But, we didn't.  We still all had our day jobs.

I was an admin assistant, the drummer was a toolmaker, our lead guitarist was an apprentice tradie of some sort, as was our rhythm guitarist and lead singer.  Our sax player was a mechanic and our bass player was an apprentice chef. 

We'd all toddle off to our day jobs, then every night after dinner, we'd practice.  When practice was done we'd smoke a joint and either practice some more or just sit on bean bags in the corner and crap on.

Let me tell you, being the only girl amongst 6 guys, EVERY night of the week...was very interesting!  Some of the stories I heard will never, ever fade (even though I wish they would).  Wanking stories were  my favourite... hahaha!  I seriously think they forgot I was there sometimes.

Anyways....

We started getting local gigs not long after I joined.  We played at quite a few of the pubs around Perth.  At first, my nerves were so bad I would nearly vomit every time I had to get up on stage (especially if I had to get out the front for a song).  Eventually I discovered bourbon....and that pretty much took care of that!

Country tours were the best fun.  We'd hire a bus, trailer, pack up all our shit and we were off!  The drives usually ended up WAY longer than planned.  A 6 hour drive ended up around 10 hours because we were all so off our face there was always someone who wanted munchies at every frikkin' stop!

We did Geraldton, Albany, Busselton, Kalgoorlie and Kambalda.  Our two guitarists were both from Kambalda so we always had a blast when we were there.  We even snagged a Christmas/New Years gig which had us up there for nearly two weeks.  The NY's gig was over 3000 people at the massive Kambalda Hotel.  It was awesome!  We drove back to Perth that night, straight after the gig, to perform New Years night at a club in Fremantle on NO SLEEP, but we somehow pulled it off.  

My time with the band was one of the highlights of my life.  It was only 2 years, but it was the BEST.  

I left the band in '87.  I'd split with the drummer a few months before that, which made things kinda awkward.  Then I developed RSI in my forearms, from my job.  I ended up on workers comp.   I couldn't even hold a pen....and I couldn't play.

So, that was that.

But it wasn't all doom and gloom.  The band got another keyboard player, and carried on as usual.

I consoled myself with booze...and men.....lots of men.

Being in a band is kinda awesome....if you are single.  The guys got SO laid, it was ridiculous.  The drummer and I were happy with our coupledom..and that was fine at the time.

However... I'd just come out of a three year abusive relationship, straight into another 18 month,  serious relationship with no time to breathe....and now was time to cut loose!  The three years between leaving the band and meeting my ex -husband to be, were spent PARTYING!

I had a lot of catching up to do.  All those hot guitarists and drummers (I don't do bass players) who I could only admire from afar while with my boyfriend....were fair game now.  I wasn't a groupie you see.  I was now 'legit'.  I was one of them.  

They were a FUN three years.  I even accidentally slept with our rhythm guitarist while up at the Bindoon Rock Festival (my bad).  

I loved to hang out at pubs and stand up at the bar during sets. I'd wait for a beautiful guitarist to wander over for a drink when they were on break, and wait for those magic words - "Hey, didn't you used to play keyboards for the Boxcars?"

"Why, yes I did.  Buy me a drink?"

The End.

Next up - Part 3: What happens on tour stays on tour - The Photos

Valentine's Day Portrait

Here's me and Bradley Cooper in our annual Valentine's portrait.


Click  here for last year's.

When I was a Rock Chick - Part 1

I wasn’t always a single, working mum.  I was married once.  Before that I was a party girl, and before that……I was a rock chick.

The 80’s was an awesome time to be growing up in Oz, and the music of the time, was a big part of the magic.   Before the internet, CD’s and iPods, we spent hours sitting in front of our radio’s waiting for our favourite song to be played and, when we heard those first few notes, leapt across the room to hit ‘record’ on the cassette deck….. ahhhh the mixed tape!   I remember spending a WHOLE weekend camped in front of my stereo/radio waiting for U2’s ‘Two hearts beat as one’ and when I finally captured it – I ran a victory lap around the lounge room. 

That lounge room was in a tiny flat, near the railway line that I shared with my boyfriend.  I was with him from age 17 to 20.  He was an abusive paranoid schizophrenic, but I was in love with him, so I stayed.

Spending three years of your life, terrified, is not pleasant.  Every move I made was scrutinised.  Everything I did, everything I wore, everywhere I went, was questioned.  I got anxious merely walking past him.  I never knew when that arm was going to lunge out, grab me and throw me against a wall.

I was not allowed to buy new clothes, go out with my friends, or wear makeup (which was quite distressing at the time as I had bad acne).  I lost touch with all my friends, took drugs and got very thin.   ‘Frankie’ ceased to exist for a while there.

I tried to run a couple of times.  The local cop shop was just a block away.  I remember running down the footpath at midnight in my nightie, hoping desperately that someone was on duty but, the lights were all off.   I had nowhere to go, and ended up being pushed backwards over the brick wall surrounding the carpark.  I was dragged home by my hair.

But, in 1985 I got out.  Fuck me, I don’t know how I did it, I was sure he’d kill me……but I did it.  I was finally free….. and I was 8 weeks pregnant.

I’m not going to go into my thought processes at that time other than to say I was 20 years old and was not going to continue a pregnancy that would see me permanently linked to a psycho.  So….that was that.

I moved back to my mum’s.  My younger sister was still at home and we took the opportunity to do some much needed bonding.  This involved mostly just drinking and smoking mull, but it was bonding nonetheless.

Much to my surprise she had joined a cover band, as keyboard player.  We’d both had piano lessons when we were younger but neither of us thought it would ever amount to anything….fun.  I can’t remember how she got started but I do remember being thrilled to bits and tagging along to band practice.  The band was called ‘Burning Boxcars’ (hahaha, don’t laugh).  Much to my further surprise (and delight) my high school sweetheart (and the guy who whisked away my virginity) was the drummer! 

It took the drummer and I about two days to hook up again and suddenly I was the ‘roadie/door chick’.  Unfortunately I didn’t see much action (in the band area) as they didn’t get that many gigs!  Nevertheless it was fucking awesome to be part of it! 

A few months in, my sister broke up with the guitarist.  It was messy.  End result – she left the band and went to Seattle!  So….. here is a cover band, repertoire finally sorted, new name, all ready to hit the local scene, and NO KEYBOARD PLAYER or back up vocalist.

"Ummm….excuse me guys but, I can play".

My initial attempts were met with a resounding "No fucking way",  the lead guitarist being my greatest opponent.  He was dead set against anymore ‘in-band' relationships (I was living with the drummer by now). 

I wouldn’t let it go.  Every time they practiced I would flick on the spare mic and belt out the harmonies for all their songs.  I have a fucking good voice! (and I sound just like my sister). 

In the end, I wore them down.

I was in!

To be continued…

(for Bams)

Sydney

So..... we're back!

The trip was great.  The kids and I were thoroughly spoilt.  Not going to waffle on, but here it is in dot points!

• Did the tourist thing (our first time in Sydney - Manly Ferry, Luna Park, Taronga, Opera House, Museum)
• Kids didn't kill each other
• Had dinner at the worst Chinese restaurant EVER
• Shagged each other senseless (got first one in 20 minutes after I arrived!)
• Talked/laughed/cried (ok the crying was just me...)
• Met the mother (eeek!)
• Met the divine KatieP (xxx)
• Met fingers (what a c*nt!)
• Caught my first fish! (first time fishing, ever!)

The photo is at Bams' mum's place on the Central Coast.  I caught the little bream and he caught the big one.  They were delicious!

It's 10 weeks until I see him again.  Missing him way too much already.

But it's all good :o)

Weird fucker

From this....

To this????

excuse me I need my Tena Lady's ... PMSL.

Oh Noes!

It's happened! My girl Alex announced on Monday night that she 'has a boyfriend'.

Nooooooooo!!!!

She turns 14 next week...my baby.

Prayin' to God (notice how there IS conveniently a God when I choose there to be one?) that she's nothing like I was at that age. Although...I guess I was still pretty innocent at 14. But it was a fast and slippery slope over the next year and by the time I was 15 I was toting one big hunka manflesh on my arm. He was two years older than me, and had the testosterone and body of a twenty year old. Needless to say, I wasn't innocent for long.

Not so worried about Alex at this stage. This is her first boyfriend. He's in her year at school. I did a 'mini-stalk' of him on Facebook last night and, quite frankly, I can't imagine he's even got any pubes yet.

So I've established some ground rules and gonna play it by ear.

Alex herself said she doesn't quite know what 'going out with' actually entails...and right now it just means hanging around in the same group at school and telling everyone you are 'going out'.

At the moment there's a 'double date' in the planning with Alex, The Boyfriend, one of her best friends and her new boyfriend (they apparently all started 'going out' last Thursday, in some sort of mass, synchronised love frenzy). No doubt this will just involve the movies and McDonalds...an outing that she and a mixed group of friends have been doing on a regular basis over the last year, so I'm happy with that.

My baby's all grow'd up.

Ethan is thrilled, probably at the anticipation of all the shit he can give her about it. I warned him to give her a break as one day he'll have a girlfriend and shit always comes back at you.

He doesn't care.

The conversation concluded with him kindly pointing out - "mum, you are going to be 50 by the time I have a girlfriend".

Little fucker.

The 80's - A Decade in Bad Hair and Fashion

1980 - Age 15.

Our first ensemble is the tube top and high waisted Californian cord jeans. Accessorised nicely by the white roller skates with pink laces. Every girl needs a flash ride...and I can be seen here with my soon to be first car, the 1979 Holden Sunbird (which I drove from 1982 to 1992). Once I added my fluffy white sheepskin covers and fluffy white stuffed cat, it was PERFECT.

1981 - Age 16.

Here I can be seen gesturing towards the Adam Ant anti-smoking poster that was very popular at the time. Unfortunately I was chain smoking Alpine Lights by that stage so really don't know why I bothered with the poster. You can barely see the red velvet headband under the fringe of my FIRST EVER perm. I am also wearing a cut-off army shirt from the Wellington Army Surplus store in the city (I caught the train in!)

1983 - Age 18.

Here I am with some sort of weird perm/mohawk hybrid do. I am looking nervously at my weird boyfriend. I am very thin. Must have been all the drugs.

1985 - Aged 20.

I think I may have been drinking in this one. That is all.....

1986 - Aged 21.

This is my 21st Birthday party and THE MOTHER OF ALL PERMS. I am wearing a pink and grey pin striped jacket with six inch shoulder pads. On the bottom half I am wearing shiny, baggy, grey/silver trousers, much like that guy in 'Miami Vice'. We had a smoke machine and Red Rooster catering.

1987 - Aged 22.

This is me during band practice (The Burning Boxcars). I am wearing a black and white striped shirt with purple HAIRY knitted leggings and some lovely white leather ankle boots. I had two pairs of white ankle boots. This pair was plain and laced up. The other pair was pull on and had a fringe.

1988 - Aged 23.

What was the 80's without a theme party? Toga parties were VERY popular back then. That is me and my flatmate Melanie. I am 5'8, she is 4'11. This night ended quite amusingly for me and some guy named Shipley. He turned out to be a stalker though.....

1988 - Aged 23

My 23rd Birthday. I am wearing black. That is my so-called friend Emma. Well she was actually just my flatmate's friend. We all had drinks before we went to a club but it ended up being a bit of a weird night 'cos I came down and found her trying to kiss my boyfriend. Bad Emma. She did look nice in a beret though.

1989. Aged 23

That is me and my little sister Donna. It is Donna's birthday. We are happy and drunk. Well I am happy...she is not all that happy after I slept with one of her little friends. I am wearing braces. I am also wearing really high waisted leggings with stirrups and shiny aviator boots. I am cool. I have no perm but I do seem to have acquired Brooke Shield's eyebrows.

1989

My cousin's wedding. My sister and I loved our dresses. We called that pleated bit at the front, that kept falling down, a 'spewbucket'. There is also a giant bow at the back, and my hair is 'crimped'. Her groomsman was more fun than mine. He took us back to the hotel room to smoke drugs so that we could cope with how we looked. We enjoyed the reception immensely..so I've been told.

1990 - Aged 25.

Still with the big hair. I am on a picnic with my new boyfriend Andrew (who I later married...had kids with ...and divorced). I am not wearing pants. It was a good picnic.

That is my tribute to the 80's. I can't really remember the rest......