Thursday, July 28, 2011

White Sheep of the Family?

I have pale skin and pale blue/grey eyes.....but I'm not 'white'.

I'm a first generation Australian of Sri Lankan descent.  

 I look just like my dad, he was from the U.S.  He was 'white'.  I am not.

People think I am.  People think I am like them.  But I'm not.  

People think it's ok to make racist jokes in front of me.  But it's not.

People are far too polite to make racist jokes in front of those of other colour or culture...those who are the butt of their jokes.   But it's ok to make the jokes in front of their 'white mates' ME.  They think it's not racist.  But it IS. the guy at Kmart who makes fun of the Asian lady who speaks English with a strong accent - how many fucking languages do YOU know and how would you sound trying to speak something other than your native tongue?

To my ex brother in law who made condescending remarks about the table of Chinese people sitting in a Chinese restaurant, speaking.....CHINESE to each other...OMFG.  If YOU were in another country with your family/friends....what language would YOU be speaking?

To the English migrant c*nts who lived next door to my cousins when they were growing up and spray painted "ASIANS GO HOME" on their driveway - You have no idea of the pain you caused two young kids who were BORN in Australia.  The trauma you caused their mother, so much so, that she wouldn't let them outside in the sun in case they got 'too dark' and were made fun of even more.

I love this country, I was born here, bred here.... but sometimes I feel like I am suffocating.  The racism is EVERYWHERE and at every level.  I see it and FEEL it because you think I'm white.

But I'm not.

This post is dedicated to my beautiful cousin/godson Peter, who passed away one year ago today.

The kids and I miss you SO much xxx


KatieP said...

Thinking of you Frankie. I know how hard anniversaries can be.
I have no words ...
It makes me so sad, so angry, so confused sometimes I can't think straight.

Kek said...

Big hug, Frankie.


Raechelle said...

Another big hug cominig your way... xoxo

Frankie said...

Thanks gorgeous girls xxxxx

Spunky Britches said...

I bet he misses you too but I am positive he is watching down on you and keeping a close eye out. I would love to say it gets easier over time but that would be a big FAT lie. All I can say is that I am thinking of you. sending you much love, strength and hugs and that WE are all here for you always!

Kyls xoxoxo

Memphis Steve said...

Sorry to hear about your cousin, Frankie.

I'm a Cherokee. That's why my beard is so pathetic. My dad used to tell us to shut up about being Cherokee because a lot of people aren't proud of that and people will do things to us. His dad never talked about it either. And neither did his grandfather. It was a dirty little secret from generation to generation because of the Trail of Tears and all that went with that. His great grandfather didn't forget how quickly people turned on them all and for nothing. People are always looking for something about others to look down upon and make themselves feel superior. It's human nature. But it doesn't make it right.

Sandra said...

Firstly - hugs to you Frankie...try to remember the good times with Peter, and know that he is smiling down on you.

I am Spanish/French and born in South America. My husband loves my multi-culturalism and brags to friends about the fact that I speak five languages...however his mum literally *shouts* at my mum if she wants to hold a conversation. I have been telling her for the last 18 years that my mum is not *deaf* - yes, English is not her first language, but she is not *DEAF*...!!!!

...anyway, I could go on about this forever.

Take care

Lad Litter said...

If there's a better post out there anywhere, well, I can't find it. Condolences on the loss of your cousin. I have a love-hate relationship with Australians. We can provide the best of times, and the worst of times.

Frankie said...

Spunky - thanks xxx We all went down to the river today where his ashes were scattered. Had a picnic, the kids let some balloons go...nice (cept for the rain!).

Memphis - I believe we have a little Native American from our father's side. My sister in Seattle adopted a gorgeous Lakota Sioux baby a few years ago. She is convinced that the reason they were successful over the other couples vying for a chance to adopt the girl was that she showed the birth mother a photo album of our whole family with our many different shades of skin colour and they must have been assured she'd fit right in x

Lad - thanks x I'd had a bee in my bonnet stewing away for a few days and then I just wrote it. Just happened to be the anniversary of his death so was quite fitting really.

Sandra - oh don't get me started... People think my family are deaf too! Was quite impressed with Nerd Guy last night though (met the WHOLE family)...he did NOT shout (yay!).

Kerry W said...

Don't know what to say really. I know a little of how you feel in relation to racist remarks. Use to affect me, but now I am totally oblivous to it, happy to be content being me. I felt a little sad about Peter, as I remember when you posted, the time he passed last year. Sorry haven't been reading much or posting, but lots going on in my life and I'm all blogged out and FB bores me to tears ATM. Very tired today. Will reveal all soon. Sending you lots of hugs from across the other side of the world it seems sometimes, and know I'm thinking of you. Can't wait to see you in October! XOX :)

Frankie said...

Thanks Kerry. It doesn't usually bother me as much as I have voiced here...just a few things over the last week really pissed me off.

I can understand your need for a blog and FB break. I'm kinda struggling to find enthusiasm at the moment. REALLY looking forward to October though! Can't wait to see you either! Hope all is OK xxx

Iris Flavia said...

It´s a very big issue over here, too, racism. Though for completedly other reasons, it´s weird! Different worlds, really...

I´m sorry for your loss, xo...

Frankie said...

Thanks Iris x

bluegirl said...

Hi Franky ,Just read your post. It's a shame some people are so ignorant .Sorry to hear about your cousin ,RIP Peter.Love reading your posts xx

Frankie said...

Hi Bluegirl. Thanks x