Tuesday, October 28, 2008

No, I do NOT have to like my body!

Just reading an article in WHO magazine entitled "The Body Issue - stars open up about the pressure to be perfect and learning to love their bodies". You know what? Great! if you are happy with your body I applaude you. If you are a size 16 and love your curves that's totally wonderful. But I'm not. And why should I be? My body is a symptom of an extremely unhealthy lifestyle. A lifestyle of eating whatever I want, whenever I want and sitting around on my ass instead of getting out there and active. Why on earth would I want to be happy with it?

I have a right to not like my body. I was given a perfectly good body by nature and I've used and abused it. This is not how it should look or how it should work. Sometimes I think people forget what "normal" is. People's ideal of what is normal size has expanded, along with our waistlines until suddenly size 14 is normal. No, size 14 isn't normal it has merely become "average".

I've had to battle all sorts of comments from people while I've tried to lose this weight. Many of the people hadn't known me before I put on these 20kg so they don't know that I was always, until about 4 years ago, naturally slim and lanky. But everyone seems to have an opinion when they hear I am trying to lose weight. My "favourite" is "oh you look fine, why would you want to lose weight?" or "you're at that age, why can't you just be happy with your body". Well...I will tell you why not...

I have a waist measurement at my belly button of 100cm.. that's 1 metre. No that's not my smallest part - which is 84cm - but right there in the middle where all that internal fat lies. Now the government recommendations for belly button measurements for women is that it should be under 80cm : a full 20cm less than me. So, by having this 100cm "waist" and between 45-50% bodyfat I am classed as obese, almost morbidly obese. Now you wouldn't think that looking at my photos but that's the situation. And what does the 100cm waist mean for me? It means I am at extremely high risk of developing chronic illness such as diabetes, heart, kidney or liver disease, cancer and stroke - and I'm only size 16.

I feel very worried for those sizes 14, 16, 18 and above who are having the notion of "being happy with their curves" shoved down their throats by would be "do-gooders". Bugger that! I'd rather live.

Negativity vs Honesty

Hey there cyberspace. This is the first of two posts I really needed to get out there as I've thought about them a lot and just need to "verbalise" as such.

So firstly, the issue of negativity vs honesty.

I'm a pretty happy person. I'm actually happier now than I've been in a long while. I've put myself in the position where I can be happy and have the freedom to be even happier. My friends would call me a "fun" person. This is because I am. They would also call me an "honest" person. Maybe too honest at times but you can be assured if I'm gonna tell it, I'm gonna tell it like it is. It's what I'm known for. Sometimes people tell me I reveal too much about myself but I don't know any other way. I don't care what people think of me (most of the time) and am happy to express my opinions about most things. Since I've been more honest with myself and others, my stress levels have improved and I am more content.

I've had a very difficult few years since my divorce but I have always looked on the bright side of things and always found the positive in any situation. Even if that positive side is not yet apparent, I'll often say "this has happened for a reason, and I'm sure all will be revealed soon enough". I've embraced change, even when it's scary, I've brought up two kids on my own, put up with harrassment from my ex-husbands lunatic girlfriend and still managed to hold down a part time job and study at university. I could not have done this if I'd been a negative person and not found the humour in almost every situation. It's how I cope. Because, even when the shit hits the fan...most things are still pretty bloody hilarious (well ok maybe some are just downright bizarre).

Unfortunately there are those out there who confuse honesty with negativity. I don't think if I complain about something it makes me a negative person, it makes me an honest person. If something or someone pisses me off, I am pissed off! I'm not going to pretend I'm not. Hell yes, I'm responsible for my own feelings - and I do get annoyed! But I'm not going to "own" it by myself. If I'm annoyed it's for a good reason - and that reason is usually because someone else has done the wrong thing or that I have gotten myself into a situation that I am not happy with. By taking total responsibility for my feelings I am in effect letting that person continue to do whatever it was that was wrong or to let a certain situation remain that is wrong ....... and that's just not right.

We can't go around pretending everything is perfect and that nothing bothers us or nothing will ever change or improve. We have to acknowledge faults, problems, annoyances so we can then address the situation. Acceptance and admittance of a situation or problem are the first steps in resolving it. Only then can we truly be happy.

Friday, October 24, 2008

War Paint

I've been dying to get another tattoo. I have a small one at the base of my spine (see my before and after photos) and it's kind of addictive as I have been wanting another one ever since.
The first one was I guess, a "divorce" tattoo. I wanted to do something to signify how I felt at the time (even though I got the tattoo 2 years after I split with my husband). It's the Chinese symbol for 'hope'. I thought about it for a long while and at that time it meant a lot to me (and still does). Frankly, I got sick of people saying "don't get your hopes up". "Don't get your hopes up" about a job...."Don't get your hopes up" about a guy.... why do people say that all the time?? As far as I'm concerned, if you can't 'get your hopes up' then there's just not much point in living! So, that's the tattoo I decided on.


Now I am thinking about my next one. I've known since I got the last one, which one I will get next but it was just deciding on when and where. I wanted to do it as a kind of ritual I guess. A reward, something earned. The tattoo is the Chinese symbol for 'strength'. It's beautiful and I'm definitely getting it but I feel like I need to earn it. So, when I've worked my butt off physically and mentally, I will get it done. Strength to me is emotional, spiritual and physical so I just need to wait for the right time and hopefully that will be soon...maybe after this next 12 weeks. I still don't know where I am getting it - whereabouts on my body that is. I'll decide over the next few weeks...I think it will be my reward. So, I'm open to suggestions!!
Here's the art. It's only small, about 1.5 inch max.



In the meantime I'm going to go get my nose pierced which I have been dying to get done for years. Just need to find out how much it costs and try to put some money aside as at the moment it's all going on layby payments for kids Christmas presents.
That's it for tonight.
Cheers






Thought for the day


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Self explanatory.......

Gerard Butler


Actor, 39



HOT



Gerard Butler...

...Shirtless

HOTTER!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0124930/


Self explanatory.......

Gerard Butler


Actor, 39



HOT



Gerard Butler...

...Shirtless
HOTTER!

Thought for the day