Sunday, December 25, 2011

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Changes...


I'm so fucking bored with it all.

My life, my attitude, my blog.

So, I'm changing those things, and making the life I want.

I'll still be blogging here, about my personal crapola.....not that I have anything exciting to report in that area..... but if I do, you'll be the first to know.

Gonna put my energies into my new blog. 


Still tweaking it and learning how to use Wordpress but should be up soon. 

Can't wait for some new adventures.

I'm not connecting my new blog to this, as it's going to be available to friends and family as well as 'blog buddies' and strangers (and would DIE if my mum read all about my sex life!) so if you would like my new blog address, please email me at fifidangerfield@hotmail.com

Those of you following my new twitter account will have it there on my profile.

Catch you later...

xxx

Monday, November 7, 2011

Health Warning for Women

If you don't eat Aussie meat...


... you're a mad cow.


(Ryan Kwanten - True Blood)

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Has it come to this?


My mother called a little while ago.

She'd just finished a conversation with my uncle (her brother), who suggested that -

1.  it might help me out financially, and...
2.  it would allow her to spend more time with her grand kids, if.....

...we moved in together.


I'm beyond words.....

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Photos from my iPhone

Nothing much to write home about so here's some random iphone snaps I've taken over the last couple of months.  Most are using either Hipstamatic or Instagram (I'm still sussing them out).  Byeeee...






Friday, October 28, 2011

Living Vicariously - Conversations with my mother...


So I took my Facebook profile down a couple of weeks ago.

No biggie, just having a FB break as spending a bit too much time stuffing around on there when I really need to be doing other things.  Miss my buddies SO much (my gorgeous buddies who are interstate) but needed to just get some balance back...so I'm not there.

My mother noticed....eventually.

I mean ok, she's 75 and going a little bonkers and lately, because she can't stalk me on FB, she just seems to be sitting around making up 'stuff' about me in her head.  Here's the latest.

Now, I'm positive I told her that I was de-activating FB for a while..but she never fucking listens so I'm not surprised she forgot.

She calls me a couple of weeks ago, on the Friday evening.  I've just dropped the kids at the station, grabbed some ice cream and plonked myself down on the couch to watch a DVD when, like clockwork, she calls.  Nothing important...just crapping on about the family etc. 

I finally get off the phone and start watching the movie and an hour later the phone rings AGAIN.  I know it's her.  She's the only person who calls our home phone number.  So, I don't answer it.  Fuck that.  Seriously, I've been working all week and I just want to be LEFT ALONE.  That was the only time it rang.

Next day (Saturday) there are no calls.  Saturday night, while I am at the movies, I notice several missed calls on my mobile, from my mum and her brother (the phone is on silent).  I thought it might be an emergency so I call back.

"Oh my God Frankie, what's happening???!!!!  Where are you, I was so worried about you.  I thought you'd committed suicide!!!".

I AM NOT JOKING.

She was freaking out and beside herself.  Apparently because I missed her calls on my kid free Friday and Saturday nights, I am not on Facebook and, apparently I told her I was broke the other week...I must have 'done something to myself'.

Now...don't get me wrong, I'm glad she cares about me but this is just too much.  Who is this person?  She doesn't know me at all.  I realise it's a serious issue and sometimes there may not be 'warning signs' but really? Just because I don't answer on two occasions and I'm not on Facebook?

THEN.....

She calls me yesterday -

Mum  -  Frances .....(insert real surname here) what's going on? (in her most serious of serious voices)

Me - Ummmm?

Mum - What's really going on?

Me - OMG I have no idea what you are talking about.

Mum - Facebook.  Why aren't you on there anymore?  It's a man, isn't it?

Me - aaahhhh noooooo.

Mum - Oh it must be.  Why else would you take your profile off?  You are trying to stop yourself from putting status updates about your new man up there, like you did with BamBam and Nerd Guy and then getting all embarrassed when you break up.

Me - 1.  I wasn't embarrassed.  2. Facebook isn't the real world mum!!  I'm JUST-NOT-ON-FACEBOOK!!!!!

Mum - Yes ok (with a bemused smirk).


Jeezuz!!!  I need to send a couple of Ninjas around there to burn her fucking Mills and Boon collection...


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

An ode to Miles Pappadum


Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I vow before Christmas
To catch up with you.

There.

PS - no I will not be hooked up with some random from RSVP and be too busy.

PPS - I am NOT internet dating again until after Christmas... WORD.

PPPS - I am SO blacker than you....on the inside, my brother from another mother.

Seriously...

Sunday, October 9, 2011

T-Shirt Addicts Anonymous (T.A.A.)


I have quite a severe t-shirt addiction.  Retro T's in particular.

I know I'm not the only one.

C'mon guys....I know there's fellow addicts out there.  Kek.....Liz? 

Photos pleeeze!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Wandering....


I'm wandering around a little lost at the moment.  I don't like it.  I like to have purpose and direction.

I guess I haven't had direction for a while, but other things have been distracting me from that fact.  I also seem to have an almost crippling fear of decision making at the moment.  Always fearing I will make the wrong one.

Have I always been like this?  I don't think so.  Or maybe I was just content to be me all those years and now I feel like I should be MORE.

Too many options, too many paths...

I decided last week to go down one path (study wise) and decided this week to go down another study path.  My mind is always racing, my head is always spinning.

End result - NIL.

Fuck this for a joke, I need a Personal Thinking Assistant...

Friday, September 30, 2011

*skids to a halt*

Well fuck ME, that was one furious post break-up blogging frenzy (about mostly nuthin!).

I’m off for a vodka and a lie down.
 
Back when..ya know…something ACTUALLY happens…
 


Thursday, September 29, 2011

It's not me, it's SCIENCE...


What is it about a break up that makes you want to get drunk and flip the bird...

...flash your boobies...

...and flirt incessantly with the maintenance guy at work?

Well, I was watching my favourite tv show the other night and there IS a scientific explanation.  

Please observe ...


Yup, that explains A LOT.

PS - it's the first ep of the new season of Big Bang Theory - The Skank Reflex Analysis, which hasn't aired in Oz yet, but it's worth the wait.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Sons of Anarchy


mmmm...I can see his 'trail to adventure'



um......watch it.
 
*thanks Rae* (a fellow 'Jax' fan)

Saturday, September 24, 2011

10 years on...and Catch up Vlog

Well this was supposed to be a really awesome vlog about the 10 years I've been a single mum, but it just ended up being me rambling and playing with my hair a lot.

You get that....

Friday, September 23, 2011

A conversation with my mother


I wish my mum had never joined Facebook, and I'm kicking myself for telling her to join.  She stalks my profile every night and interrogates me later about things she just doesn't 'get'.  Subsequently, I've stopped posting anything bloody interesting on my regular profile and had to start a separate 'Fifi' profile.

Another one who's regretting my mother's presence is my daughter.  A 15 year old girl does not need her nanna stalking her either.  I often get calls asking me to clarify something Alex has said or done online.

Below is a transcript of last night's call...

Mum:  You didn't tell me Alex had a job.

Me:  Ah, that's because she hasn't got a job.

Mum:  Yes she has.  She said on Facebook she has a job.

Me:  Mum, I think I would know if my own daughter has a job!

Mum:  Well maybe she doesn't tell you everything.  Have a look at her profile.  Up the top where it says 'Works at'.

Me:  Ok, hang on....



Me:  Ok.


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Single again....


....and I'm more than fine with it.  This break up started 4 weeks ago and my feelings for him evaporated not long after. 

Not gonna talk details here, although some of you FB buddies already know.  HIS issues, not mine.

Not going to waste any more energy on it.

NEXT!!!...

Friday, September 16, 2011

MUMisms


My daughter is awesome, and growing up into such a beautiful young lady, both inside and out.

We don't get a lot of 'mummy/daughter' time these days.  She's usually occupied with friends either in person on online. But we do get some special time.

Lately, more often than not, that time has been in the car on the way to school.  It's a new thing.  She used to walk to school, now she's turned into one of those lazy teenagers I used to hear about - but I don't mind.
It's our time, every weekday, when I can spout - Mumisms.

Topics covered include -

dating/boys/sex
makeup tips
skincare
clothing tips
updates on MY love life
healthy eating
the importance of a good education
when is she going to get a part time job...

Ok...I call it 'special time'..she calls it TRAPPED IN A CAR WITH MY FUCKING MOTHER.

I predict she will start walking to school again VERY soon...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Monday, August 15, 2011

x

In a crazy, noisy room full of bellowing uncles, cackling aunts and screaming kids...

...he gently pushes my hair behind my ear and smiles down at me.

Bliss.


PS - shut UP

Thursday, July 28, 2011

White Sheep of the Family?


I have pale skin and pale blue/grey eyes.....but I'm not 'white'.

I'm a first generation Australian of Sri Lankan descent.  


 I look just like my dad, he was from the U.S.  He was 'white'.  I am not.

People think I am.  People think I am like them.  But I'm not.  

People think it's ok to make racist jokes in front of me.  But it's not.

People are far too polite to make racist jokes in front of those of other colour or culture...those who are the butt of their jokes.   But it's ok to make the jokes in front of their 'white mates'...like ME.  They think it's not racist.  But it IS.  

So...to the guy at Kmart who makes fun of the Asian lady who speaks English with a strong accent - how many fucking languages do YOU know and how would you sound trying to speak something other than your native tongue?

To my ex brother in law who made condescending remarks about the table of Chinese people sitting in a Chinese restaurant, speaking.....CHINESE to each other...OMFG.  If YOU were in another country with your family/friends....what language would YOU be speaking?



To the English migrant c*nts who lived next door to my cousins when they were growing up and spray painted "ASIANS GO HOME" on their driveway - You have no idea of the pain you caused two young kids who were BORN in Australia.  The trauma you caused their mother, so much so, that she wouldn't let them outside in the sun in case they got 'too dark' and were made fun of even more.

I love this country, I was born here, bred here.... but sometimes I feel like I am suffocating.  The racism is EVERYWHERE and at every level.  I see it and FEEL it because you think I'm white.

But I'm not.



This post is dedicated to my beautiful cousin/godson Peter, who passed away one year ago today.

The kids and I miss you SO much xxx

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Return of RollerGirl?


So I'm a skater from way back....or should I say WAS a skater.  Actually I was only a skater for about 3 years, 1979 to 1981, but they were memorable years.  Now, 30 years on I am attempting a comeback!

Seriously,  I am totally obsessed with thoughts of skating again, to the point where I am dreaming about it.

It all started a few weeks ago when I went to the Rollerdrome with Ethan and Nerd Guy.  Nerd Guy can skate.  He's good.  He was a speed skater.  Number 1 son had a ball (see vid in previous post).  I did not skate.  I sat in the corner and watched, took photos, stuffed around on my iphone and surveyed the area for bogan threats... (assessment - Bogan Defcon - 4).  But, I was quietly SPEWING.  I wanted to be out there, but couldn't, due to dodginess of my lower back/sacrum from early this year.  Serves me right for not doing my rehab.  Not so much the skating part I was worried about, but the falling down part.

And then the dreams started...

See, the thing is - I thought I could still skate.  I thought I was just gonna get up there, take off and whiz around with the wind in my hair and Lady Gaga in my ears, leaving all and sundry in my dust.  It never occurred to me that actual skating would be the problem.

I started dreaming about skating, about about three times I think.  And these were positive dreams, so it appears that even my subconscious had no idea how fucking unco' I'd become.

Ya see usually if you are worried about something you have one of those 'disaster dreams'.  You know the ones.  You have an exam the next day - you dream that your alarm doesn't go off and you miss it.  You have a date  the next day - you dream you sprout a massive zit on the end of your nose...  

But, in my skating dreams I was totally fucking awesome.  I'd whack on my skates and I was off...rolling like the wind.  Nerd Guy featured in a couple of the dreams but in the last dream, during the couples skating song, a guest star made an appearance.  It was Eric Dane ... McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy.  SERIOUSLY.    Oh we had such fun, skating around hand in hand.  He'd occasionally flip around and skate backwards, gazing longingly into my eyes... but I digress...

So...yeah, really thinking I can skate at this stage.  I just assumed it would be like riding a bike...a skill that would just kick in when needed.  

I was wrong.

The other day (first day without rain for ages) I put my original skates on (apart from a change in wheels back in the 80's) and stepped out onto the front paving.  

One step, chucked the splits, splat.

That's how far I got.  That photo up top....not staged.  I refused to get up until Ethan came out and took a photo of me (even in pain I was thinking of Facbook/Blog value).  He had to help me up. I couldn't even stand up without losing it. He then DEMANDED I take my skates off.  There was a genuine look of fear in his eyes.  Not wanting to traumatise my baby boy, I obliged.

The next day at work I madly googled "skating lessons".  My plan - to undertake secret, intense training and surprise Nerd Guy.  I don't merely want to not fall down, I want to skate backwards, do clever shit.  I wanna be good!  It's also great, low impact cardio (again, if you do NOT fall down).

So that's the plan.  Of course I'm crap at keeping secrets and divulged  said cunning plan immediately to His Nerdness, who then offered to teach me himself.  While a lovely, romantic gesture (visions of Robby Benson teaching that blind chick to skate in the movie 'Ice Castles' ...click here if you are too young to remember), there is no way I am looking like an absolute frikkin' r'tard in front of Nerd Guy and his friends.

No way.

I'm not.

I mean it.


Eric understands...


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Thursday, June 23, 2011

VLOG - Interview with Nerd Guy on a Tuesday

Testing out the vid on my new phone.  


This is for ME and Nerd Guy....oh and my sister in Seattle (hey Donna this is HIM!!)  The rest of you?  Well it's gonna make you throw up in your mouth a little.


Don't say I didn't warn you...


Saturday, June 18, 2011

46...




So I turned 46 this week....Thursday actually.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what to write.  Should it be a retrospective on the last year?  Maybe a comparison with where my life was this time last year?  Should it simply be a snippet about what I did for my birthday?  What to write....what to write....? I think I'm just gonna start typing and see what happens...

Nerd Guy has been really supportive of my writing....even though I haven't done any since March, (Yeah, he reads my blog....no, he's not a blogger.) Even now that I'm 'back' my posts are literally just snapshots of my life right now.  I probably wouldn't have posted at all if not for him telling me "your friends need to know that you're happy now".   

And I AM happy.

My life at the moment does not resemble in any way, shape or form, my life, this time last year.  Quite frankly, most of the last 18 months has sucked MAJORLY.  Oh, there were good bits, but the stress prior to those good bits, or resulting from those good bits far outweighed any 'good' at the time and the cumulative result left me pretty fucked up, both physically and emotionally.  

I'm not gonna re-hash all the 'stuff', you can go back and read about it if you want, but it pretty much covered 5 of the top 10 'stressful' events in one's life - job loss, death of family member, moving house, relationship breakup and illness.  

But, out of the blue, I found a way to deal with the stress (no...not drinking!), the last 18 months started to fade from thought, and I started to see only the good that has come out of it.

1.  I have a permanent job, 15 minutes from home.
2.  We live in a great house, in an awesome area.
3.  I'm even closer to my extended family.
4.  I've lost 10kg since this time last year (about 10 to go still...)
5.  I'm no longer afraid of having a relationship...

... which is a good thing, 'cos then I met Nerd Guy.

He doesn't like that name, and I don't blame him.  He's actually not a nerd at all.  He's VERY cool.  We like a lot of the same stuff.  We like doing the same kinda things (our first date was ten pin bowling).  Ok...now that I'm talking about HIM I might as well fill you in on the gos'....

We met on RSVP...yes!  RSVP.   And, to date, he seems relatively sane.  We didn't realise we had so much in common right away, I just got a nice 'vibe' from his profile, but after a couple of emails we realised we had a heap of common interests...which always gives us something to talk about.


So....a bit about His Nerdness...


He's 43 in September, 6'1" and has lovely green eyes :o).  His kids are same age as mine (two boys 12 and 15).  He's been divorced nearly as long as me (hallelujah!) and lives only 15 minutes away.  Hmm...what else?  Oh, he was a graphic designer in advertising for many years and now he's in his final year of a Fine Art degree, majoring in photography.  He also works part time as a carer...basically, he's pretty fucking awesome (and he thinks I say 'awesome' too much...).


Ok...enough about my ACTUAL FOR REAL LOVE LIFE...


Back to my birthday!


I ate way too much cake at work on Wednesday, then took Thursday and Friday off for a fabulous birthday, long weekend.  


Thursday was 'girlfriend day' and I went to to the movies with a friend to see Hangover 2, had a haircut...just enjoyed not being at work.  Nerd Guy popped round with his boys in the evening.  It was a good birthday.


Friday was 'boyfriend day'.  I spent around 5 hours, in bed, enjoying the view....




...ummmm yeah, there were some other things I was enjoying but this was the only photo he'd let me use (he has a strict 'no nudity' clause).


As for the rest of my birthday weekend...who gives a crap?  I'm still back at 'boyfriend day'...



Sunday, June 12, 2011

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Nerd Guy & Geek Girl

Sooo....I've been spending a LOT of time with a certain guy lately.

He's just lovely.

I could prattle on about how he's tall and handsome and smart and artistic - but I won't.

I could also write a page or two about how HOT I am for him - but I won't.

However I WILL say that for the last couple of weeks I've been smiling WAY more than I have done for a very long time :o)

Here's some photos of what we've been up to...











Ciao!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Dear Man Flesh...


Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
My Man Proof Cave
Has no room for YOU.


PS - I am renovating though...call me later (555 - DATE-LESS)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Monday, March 21, 2011

VLOG - Jazz for Judes

Ok...not really back.  Just popping my head out of the cave for a minute as my friend Jude is having a hard time so thought I'd make her a vlog to cheer her up... (or make her stab herself in the ears with ice picks...whatever...).  Thank you Ms Rickie Lee Jones.

(Kerry...I've got one for you too in a month or two when I get back to blogging and it involves......MADONNA..and no singing!)


Now, back to my bearskin rug.....


PS - I've lost 10kg since this time last year! (Fuck I'm good).

Sunday, March 6, 2011