Hey there cyberspace. This is the first of two posts I really needed to get out there as I've thought about them a lot and just need to "verbalise" as such.
So firstly, the issue of negativity vs honesty.
I'm a pretty happy person. I'm actually happier now than I've been in a long while. I've put myself in the position where I can be happy and have the freedom to be even happier. My friends would call me a "fun" person. This is because I am. They would also call me an "honest" person. Maybe too honest at times but you can be assured if I'm gonna tell it, I'm gonna tell it like it is. It's what I'm known for. Sometimes people tell me I reveal too much about myself but I don't know any other way. I don't care what people think of me (most of the time) and am happy to express my opinions about most things. Since I've been more honest with myself and others, my stress levels have improved and I am more content.
I've had a very difficult few years since my divorce but I have always looked on the bright side of things and always found the positive in any situation. Even if that positive side is not yet apparent, I'll often say "this has happened for a reason, and I'm sure all will be revealed soon enough". I've embraced change, even when it's scary, I've brought up two kids on my own, put up with harrassment from my ex-husbands lunatic girlfriend and still managed to hold down a part time job and study at university. I could not have done this if I'd been a negative person and not found the humour in almost every situation. It's how I cope. Because, even when the shit hits the fan...most things are still pretty bloody hilarious (well ok maybe some are just downright bizarre).
Unfortunately there are those out there who confuse honesty with negativity. I don't think if I complain about something it makes me a negative person, it makes me an honest person. If something or someone pisses me off, I am pissed off! I'm not going to pretend I'm not. Hell yes, I'm responsible for my own feelings - and I do get annoyed! But I'm not going to "own" it by myself. If I'm annoyed it's for a good reason - and that reason is usually because someone else has done the wrong thing or that I have gotten myself into a situation that I am not happy with. By taking total responsibility for my feelings I am in effect letting that person continue to do whatever it was that was wrong or to let a certain situation remain that is wrong ....... and that's just not right.
We can't go around pretending everything is perfect and that nothing bothers us or nothing will ever change or improve. We have to acknowledge faults, problems, annoyances so we can then address the situation. Acceptance and admittance of a situation or problem are the first steps in resolving it. Only then can we truly be happy.