Friday, November 19, 2010

The strangest thing

If you've been reading my blog a while, you'll know I've had body issues.

Maybe that's the reason I've been single for so long.  Who fucking knows.  I just know that my negative impression of myself has held me back, in more ways than one.

For the last few years especially, since I put on quite a few kilos, the mirror has not been my friend.

Every house I have lived in has a BIG bathroom mirror and gets the morning sun - you know what I'm talking about ladies?  I might as well be in front of a Kmart change room mirror... it's that bad.

The past few months, since I let myself date again were the worst.  Every morning to have to see, in the harsh light of day, every lump, bump, dimple, scar and wrinkle, was enough to make me want to throw the towel in and retreat to the cave - permanently.  

But the strangest thing has happened.  

For the past couple of weeks I've been getting up in the morning and looking in that same mirror....same lighting.....same body.  Only I realise now, all I see - is ME.

And all it took was knowing that someone..... loves all of me.


KatieP said...

Fuck yeah baby ...
Divine, gorgeous, miraculous, vibrant, exciting, soothing love changes the how we see the world and how we see ourselves.
Love love, love it, love you xx

Shar said...

Now Frankie, its time for you to love you too.

Shar x

Bambam said...

I do have one major issue with your body: it's 4000 km from mine!

Nice post, and good to see. As your own eyes start seeing the fucking gorgeous woman I see, you'll naturally drop unwanted kgs without even really trying. It's one of life's weird but true little things.

I look forward to giving up smoking in the new year xoxo.

WV: evets!

Frankie said...

Hey Katie :o) Remembered a similar post of yours when I was writing this x

Shar, I think I kinda do already.

Bams - as I was saying to you earlier...there's no longer my own awful scrutiny of my body. My faults just don't stand out anymore like they used to. Thanks :o) But yeah...would still like to get to a healthy bodyweight - but I like my body now and I'll like it at whatever weight I get to and everything in between.

PS - I think it's awesome that you're giving up smoking xxx

Kerry W said...

It's amazing what a difference it makes, when you know that someone loves you regardless of "every lump, bump, dimple, scar, wrinkle"! But you know, we all love you too Frankie(though I know its' just not the same as a hunk of manflesh with brains and a heart). :) XOX

Shar said...

Thats great news and so you should, your B.E.A.Utiful


Frankie said...

oh and a heart and brain also ! ;o)

Frankie said...

Thanks Kerry...yeah I know you guys love me but, just quietly....Bams has a penis.

xxx @Shar!

Nicole said...

amazing what difference it makes hey? hmmmm.... must be why I'm currently back to seeing the faults :/

Frankie said...

Nic...don't go back there. I was wrong! I was always beautiful and so are you!

Word verification = biodshi

I don't know what that means but I like it.

becky said...

happy for ya :)

how weird is it that it takes a man's acceptance for us birds to see how beautiful we are. i've had that too. i wish i could just feel it on my own.

my word verification was PROP-HO!?

seriously?? blogger is mocking me!!!

Em said...

*claps* hoorah! Love ya!

Frankie said...

yeah em it's kinda nice :o)

Flea said...

Go Frankie!! My hubby always says I'm trashing his taste if I complain about mine, he loves me the way I AM.

Frankie said...

aww that's nice.