Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Code


My friends and I live by a code.  It is an honourable code.  

This is the code between women (and not just those you know - this can, at times, extend to perfect strangers) that you will not let each other look like complete dickheads/losers in public.....if you can help it.

What sort of situations are covered by the code?  I think you probably know them already.  Here's a just few...

"You've tucked your skirt into your undies".

"You've got toilet paper stuck to the back of your jeans/your shoes/whatever".

"You've got something stuck in your teeth".

"You've got black stuff in the corner of your eye"

"Ummm.... are you sure you really want to wear that?"  sometimes known as "you look like mutton dressed as lamb".

"You've got a dried up bogie sticking out your nose".

You get the idea. I'm sure you can come up with a few more.

But there's one situation that's a little tricky..it's a bit more of a 'sensitive' issue.  That issue is - upper lip hair.  I know!  Seriously....how do you tell someone that's cultivating a rain forest on their upper lip that it's time to get out the hot wax or Nair!  And what happens if they don't care to do so? It's a frikkin' minefield.

I have on occasion been MORTIFIED to glance at myself in the rear view mirror and spy veritable whiskers sprouting from my top lip.  "Why didn't somebody tell meeeee?  I look like a fucking walrus!!!"

So, some close friends and I have a developed a code word...a phrase....a friendly nudge that can be used, anywhere...anytime that these heinous hairs are spotted.

And that code word is.....

MAGNUM P.I.

Be a friend.  Use it.


14 comments:

Em said...

hahhahaaaaaaaaa! Word Verification: geniness!
Genius!!!

Bambam said...

I guess you could ask them, particularly at this time of year, if they're doing Movember??

Frankie said...

I hope you're always a good friend Em. Mine can be slackers!

Bams - hahahahaha!

Nicole said...

Oh... Frankie... You've given me the guilts. Have you seen my facebook update? I DID tell her about the toilet paper... I DID.. I whispered in her ear. But I took a photo and took the piss first because I was drunk and well, it was funny :/

But don't worry, I would sooooo tell you if you had a hairy lip :)

Frankie said...

Nic, I'd been meaning to write this post for ages but your FB photo reminded me he he. You cruel bitch hahaha!

K said...

LOL my friend B and I say, "ya lookin a little baby gorrilla there" if one is a tad hairy in places....so not as cool as Magnum P.I!

Lad Litter said...

That is briliiant code, Frankie. Back in the late 70s, we used to say "She could sell Cinzano..." as John Newcombe had done a series of TV ads for that drink.

Frankie said...

Katie - that's hilarious! Poor little babies.

Lad - I remember those ads hahaha oh dear. Cinzano...

Kek said...

What IS it about rear view mirrors? You look and look and LOOK in the bathroom mirror and there's not a sign of a single wisp. But one glance in the car mirror and there are squillions of the fuckers sprouting everywhere!

It's one of the few things I hate about getting older. I'm stealing your Magnum line...

Spunky Britches said...

Love it Frankie.....

Friday and I have our own code too....We just sing 'Mustang Sally' to one another BUT the wording goes something like this,*insert best singing voice here* "Moustache Sally now baby.....girl you better moooow that moustache down" lmao

Kyls :-)

Frankie said...

Kek ...I've had to start keeping grooming tools and make up in the car 'cos I never know what ugly truth it might reveal on the way to work!

Hey there Spunky Britches! Glad you're back. Hahaha...Moustache Sally funneeee

Friday said...

Bwahahahaa..

@ Nicole - I thought of you instantly!! :P

@ Britches Baby - fuuunnnny! I love it cept now its stuck in my head again - 'guess you better mow that moustache down'

xx

Frankie said...

it's a serious issue Friday.

Nicole said...

haha too funny! One day when my MIL was visiting I noticed a stray hair on her chin but it sort of looked like it belonged to me (as my hair constantly falls out!). I said oh you have a hair and went to pull it off her face and oh shit - it was attached to her chin! OMG! I will never forget that! Seriously need a code word for chin hair!! LOL