Diary of a Stalker

Monday 23 February 2009

Dear Diary,

Today I was driving along in my car and I saw Blockbuster Guy's vehicle go by. I just so happened to be going in a similar direction so I followed him and watched as he pulled into the bottle shop at the roundabout.

I couldn't very well pull up next to him (like a stalker) so I just went around the roundabout twice, like an idiot instead. Then I pulled over in a carpark across the road. I watched him go into the bottle shop and realised I didn't like his shorts much, and that maybe his legs are too short for his body, somewhat like a hobbit. I rarely see his legs behind the counter at Blockbuster.

I considered waiting for him to come out and then follow him to see where he lives but I had to pick my son up from a play date so I left.

The end.

Wednesday 25th February 2009

Dear Diary,

Today I look like shit. My hair is greasy and my eyemake-up looks like something out of a horror movie but I took Ethan swimming anyway. Pool Guy turned up. Luckily I was sitting halfway back in the seating and not the front row, so when he sat in the front row I could perve on him from an angle and he couldn't see me (as using my peripheral vision superpowers makes me feel seasick). BUT I did wear my glasses this time which served two purposes..1. so he couldn't see my raccoon-like eyes and 2. so I could see if he was wearing a wedding ring. However, he insisted on crossing his hands behind his head almost the entire time so I saw NOTHING.

No strip show today either. But the tight blue t-shirt was still a very nice look.

The end.

Thursday 26th February

Dear Diary,

Today I'm having a really good hair day.

The end.