No..no....noooo......I'm not channeling Lurtz from Lord of the Rings, I'm just being pervy. I took my son to his first after school swimming lesson for the year this afternoon and it was kinda....he he...nice. He'd just started his lesson when I caught a whiff of something I've not experienced (in person and this close up) for quite some time (ever since I stopped stalking Blockbuster guy)....MAN FLESH. So, I'm busy reading my magazine and out of the corner of my eye I spy this shape....quite a large shape actually, strolling past in camo pants, leather jacket and carrying a bike helmet (motor not push)....what the????...my neck nearly snaps from the force of the sudden movement. Ok...this looks interesting (please God, let him be taking his clothes off). He puts his gear down in the next block of chairs up, has a look around (oops....I got sprung perving) and takes off his jacket....*sigh* - he's really wearing that t-shirt. At this stage I still hadn't seen his face...ok and I didn't have my bloody glasses on..and there was backlighting, but I did see his perfectly shaped shaved head. He walks past me on the way to...somewhere....I get to gaze upon him for at least 3 minutes while he walks over to what appears to be his daughter's swimming class (got sprung perving again, this time by the woman two seats up from me). Nice...pants.
Of course I completely ignore him as he walks back over ...... ignore ....ignore .....ignore ....casually gaze up with bedroom eyes and gigantic hair flick just in time to catch his eye...WHAMMO - EYE CONTACT..... he he he.... I'm such a tart.
He was very cute....kinda Italian or Greek looking. Gorgeous eyes and nice skin. Could things get any better?...um...YEAH! - he starts stripping off! (serious headache taking hold as attempts to perve with peripheral vision that defies both the laws of physics and physiology). By this time I've nearly passed out but manage to catch a glimpse of his pert derriere in a pair of light blue speedos and his wide muscular back with a tattoo of the Southern Cross up on his shoulder...
...Death by Man Flesh - I could think of worse ways to go.
Anyway, then to the boring bit where I watched him swim laps for 25 minutes while trying desperately to see if he was wearing a ring but I didn't have my fucking glasses on! Luckily his daughter appears to have squad training same time as my young one so I don't even need to stalk him - just turn up, and enjoy the view.