Friday, January 30, 2009

Office Food Wanker

Seriously. I've friggin had enough.
I get in this morning and there's a cream sponge on my desk. I suspect office clueless male and I am right. I asked why, as he knows I am trying to lose weight, he would put a cake on my desk. "'s for morning tea" smile..chuckle. Yes, dickhead, but why is it on my desk? "Well Miss Moneypenny isn't here. If she was here I'd have put it on her desk." "But why are you putting it on anyone's desk?? Why can't you put it in the fridge?" "cos it's for morning tea"...chuckle..snortle. Fuckwit.
I've had enough. Firstly, I'm not the cake cutter-up-erer for the office. Secondly he knows I'm on a diet. The only reason I can think of to why he's putting it on my desk is to make fun of me or sabotage my diet so I can be fat and unhealthy like him.

We have a small close-knit office. There's just four of us in an open area and then about four others in smaller offices outside. But, every bastard seems to have an excuse to bring food in to our work area. Especially this time of year with everyone coming back from holidays. Two workmates have brought in boxes of chocolates in the last two weeks....but they didn't put them on my desk. Of course I don't expect everyone to miss out just because I'm on ANOTHER diet but get's ridiculous sometimes.
This particular Office Food Wanker is always bringing in muffins and cakes/biscuits for morning tea whenever he's having a meeting and even though I've repeatedly told him I am not eating crap he still offers it to me... almost like a if he can tempt me to eat it he gets some sort of Champion Office Food Wanker medal or something. Wanker.
So, anyway, I had a bit of a go at him and he still wasn't taking me seriously and had no explanation for why he'd put it on my desk. Then one of my co-workers calls him over and tells him to be serious for a minute and asks him why he did it...seriously..why? Well Office Food Wanker didn't like that and got all narky. Then he came and stood over my desk and got all narky, so I yelled at him and told him to bugger off.
And, now the office is all 'weird vibey' and I'm shitty.
das Ende


Flea said...

Hi there, popping in via a bloggy friend's blog today. Wow, I know you must've been angry, I had a muffin pushed in my face once and actually threw it in the bin!! But .. it did made me laught, writting is a huge talent of yours!
I did my Sport Sc degree with ECU in 2007, might know you if I see you, but I deferred after I was told I shouldn't do high impact stuff. I was devastated and went over to Social science. Still miss my old degree but again don't know what I would do with it once finished, dont' wanna be a PT or work in a boring gym, been ther done it, not my scene. I really wanted Rehab industry. Maybe I gave up to quickly I dunno.
Any way, nice to meet another Perth blogger!!

Frankie said...

Hi Java!

Yeah...I told him that if any more of his morning teas end up on my desk they will go straight in the big green bin.

I'm popping over to your blog now to say hello :)

Witchazel said...

I know what you mean, had a total wanker like that at one of the places I worked, so one day when he put a big slice of cream cake on my desk I did this huge theatrical.. "WOW IS THAT ALL FOR ME.. WOW THANK YOU SOOO VERY MUCH... YUM I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!!" then picked it up and tossed it into the bin about 1 metre away. He never did it again! You could always tell them you have discovered you are alergic to flour and they better have 000 on speed dial if you eat a cake/muffin hehehe

Rachael P said...

Hi Frankie,

Those food wankers, there seems to be 1 in every office I think.

You gonna give me secret access to the other one????? Interested now I cant get into it.....


Frankie said...

yeah..I think I'm gonna have to say something..maybe say I just found out I'm diabetic or something. geez..they just don't give up.

Frankie said...

That other blog's not up and running up yet Rach.

Kerry W said...


Just for kicks, why not make a special 1ST PRIZE ribbon that says "Champion Office Food Wanker". And pull one of those know...stick it on his back, so everyone else can see it, but he can't...he..he..he...

Bet he'll never do it again!

Lia Halsall said...

Okay Frankie, I'm going out on a limb here so please don't shoot me for my perspective

He's obviously getting the better of you becuase you are letting him. Given what he's doing isn't right but unfortunately you can't control what this person does. What you can control is how you react to it though. If he were to do it again if I were you I would simply place the food item in the bin and continue on working like it was nothing. Be the bigger person and don't let him or the food item get a negative response from you. After all, it doesn't help you or your day improve does it.

Just let it go and get on with your day. Revenge is sweet when you kill them with kindness. ;o)

Lia xxx

Frankie said...

Kerry, LOL...yes as much as I'd love I'm going to have to take the "ignore" road.

He's a senior researcher and is my ticket to more work here so I'm gonna hope he's forgotten I yelled at him by Monday!