Sunday, January 4, 2009

Sex, Lies and Videotape

Ok I'll admit it -I've had a crush on the Blockbuster guy for 6 years!
He's tall (ish), stocky, dark haired and kinda good looking and I've worshipped him from afar (and up close) since I moved to this neighbourhood a year after I split with my husband.

I guess I shouldn't call him the 'guy' as he's actually the owner. The original BlockBuster Guy used to work behind the counter every afternoon. He was a sci-fi nerd (like me) and used to participate in medieval re-enactments and also did fencing (with swords not posts). But he left, and I wasn't remotely attracted to him so don't know why I bothered mentioning it. Back to current Blockbuster Guy...

Now I'm a stalker from way back, although in my day (the 80's) we liked to call it 'espionage' and I haven't really changed much. I know his car and therefore I know when he works (mornings Mon - Fri) and therefore precisely when I should drop in for my 6 Weeklies for $6 (they have to be weeklies 'cos it takes WAY longer to chose 6 movies than it does just 1 new release). So, I pop in about once week and 'cruise' the aisles.

This has been going on for 6 years now and do you think I can work up the f*cking courage to even speak to him?????? Geez I'm pathetic. He used to ask me for my password but now he doesn't even do that, which I guess is sorta flattering. He just zaps my card and gives me the DVD. So... I'm thinking that since he doesn't ask me for my password that he's sending me a subtle "it's ok I know who you are" message. Don't you think? I think..yes I definitely think. Then again, after 6 bloody years I'd be quite insulted if he did ask me for my password. Mystery friend number 1 suggests I say to him "aren't you going to ask for my password?" next time I go in, and when he says "ok, what's your password?", I should answer with - "F*ck me now".
But, it's been so long that I've been going in there I feel like I've missed my chance. I should have spoken to him by now...I mean it's friggin' ridiculous, the way we don't speak to each other. He speaks to other people, why doesn't he speak to me? Hmmm, same reason I speak to everyone behind the counter except him I guess. I do have reason to speak to him. There's a couple of movies I want to ask him about (that I can't find on the shelves) and all I need to do is go in there one morning and ask BUT I won't, now that I've put on weight. I'm embarrassed.

There's a 25kg difference between 6 years ago and now. Bedroom eyes and hair flicks just don't cut it anymore and that's just another reason I'm trying to lose this weight and get my life back, oh and it also happens to be the reason I haven't had sex since 5th February, 2005 (between approx 10.00pm and 10.05pm).

EDIT - I just thought I should add here that I don't even know if he's married or has a ring but that doesn't mean much these days. If I only knew his name I could cyberstalk him and find out.......


Kerry W said...


You seriously need to get laid girl! And you need to take the opportunity while your kids are holiday.

Shar said...

Just do it....... talk to him that is! and I love the password convo your friend suggested.

shar x

Frankie said...

Oh Hi Shar! Yeah..I'm such a big wus aren't I? I should have talked to him when I was 20kg lighter. Ok...I will go in SOON and ask him about this particular movie I can't find...yeah ok that's the plan.

Frankie said...

haha...yeah I do! But in the words of Kirsty Alley "I'm not having fat sex!!"

Nope, going to concentrate on improving my life first.

But will still lust after Blockbuster guy..he smells gooooood.

Kerry W said...

Keep us posted Frankie. BTW, what happened to whats-his-name from uni?

Frankie said...

He left (for the eastern states). He was just a bit of eye candy anyway. Just a young sprink chook. I want a man not a boy (as long as he's under 40!!!)