Firemen

Eric... the firefighter from Montreal.

Thanks Canada.

Reasons to be slim

Ok...I'm not even going to talk about how the scales haven't budged since yesterday (oops). I'm also not going to talk about how the car has stuffed up AGAIN (oooops...) and how I'm not going to be able to continue with the naturopath (oooooooops).

What I am going to do is remind myself why I need to be slim (apart from that whole 'health' thing). Thanks Kerry for reminding me of the gorgeous winter clothes I am going to be able to wear this year. I won't be able to wear them 'til towards the end of the 'official' winter, but as it's still high 20's here in Perth, I think our winter will probably go right through to September this year.

Anyway, I have a coat and boot problem. Here are my coats. I can get two of them around my huge hulking back (but still can't do them up, do to my giant norks). Just to be able to wear a nice coat would be LOVELY. I did have a stretchy black horrible nanna cardigan I wore for the last two winters to cover up all my sins but I've thrown in it the green wheelie bin in anticipation of never needing it again.

I love my coats but I'm running out of room to store them.

My Dad

ANZAC Day always reminds me of my dad.

I'm a first generation Australian. My mum is from Sri Lanka (Ceylon in those days) and my dad was from the United States (first gen) of French Canadian descent. Hence my very French sounding name (which I'm not revealing....well ok, my middle name is Yvette and the rest is French too).

Dad was a United States Marine..the best of the best of the best. He was enlisted from 1957 to 1961 when he was honourably discharged. He never saw combat (although he really wanted to). He spent the majority of his posting at the United States Embassy in Ceylon.

My mother was a typist at the embassy. They met, and it was pretty much love at first sight - A big strapping 6ft Marine and a tiny little 5'2" exotic beauty. They saw each other secretly for 3 years (my mum's father would NEVER approve). But, finally they decided to get married and had to 'fess up'. They couldn't decide whether to live in Ceylon or the States so they decided to settle for about half way, Australia.

Dad came first in 1961 to make a home for them. He worked as surveyor up north (he'd done drafting in the marines), got some money together, and then set up house down in Perth. It was a whole year before my mum arrived in 1962. They were married in December that year and the rest ...is history.

He died on 20th February 1982 at the age of 43 (the same age I am now). Cause of death was multiple organ failure due to 25 years of alcoholism.

I didn't shed a tear at the time, nor for years after. I was expecting it, and it was a relief. At the age of 12 I'd overhead him telling my mum that the doctor said if he kept drinking the way he was, he'd only live another 5 years.....and that's all it was. I was 17 when he died. I'd had some miserable teenage years, embarrassing mostly. I missed out on a lot because I just didn't want to have friends over with my drunk dad stumbling round the place. By the end I hated him.

So...didn't cry for a long time. I was angry too. Angry at him for drinking himself to death knowingly. Angry at my mum for not doing SOMETHING to help him...just bloody angry.

Years later I cried. I cried because the last thing he saw of me was a rebellious high school drop out. I cried because he never got to see me a few years later, as a musician, then as a mother and as a university student. I cry on his birthday, I cry on ANZAC Day, I cry in December on their wedding anniversary. I cry when I think of how he will never see my two beautiful kids (my son looks SO much like him) and I cry as I write this.

Love you Dad xxx

Late Cardio

I just did an hour on the treadmill while watching Grey's Anatomy. I haven't done late cardio for a couple of years but I LOVE it. I love being totally knackered, having my supps, a hot shower and then curl up in bed, deliciously snuggly and tired.

Unfortunately that lasted all of 10 minutes as the kids were fighting. It's still school holidays here until Wednesday next week so I just let them stay up a little later (and sometimes that's later than me).

So, just getting comfy again and more screams. This time my daughter was day dreaming while making a hot milo and put the mug with milo only and a metal spoon into the microwave.

There's sparks and smoke and my boy is totally freaking out telling me the house is on fire. I DON'T CARE. I WANT TO SLEEEEEP!!!

I chucked a complete Joan Crawford, told them they are totally responsible for my high cortisol levels, and therefore my fatness, and now they are both in bed sulking and probably emotionally scarred for life.

My comfy feeling's gone now....

D'oh, I'm like soooo good

Funny thing happened on the way in to work. I walked over to the lift (yes I know I should take the stairs but my legs are still like jelly) and there's a woman I don't recognise...not unusual as I work at a uni and there's thousands of people I don't recognise. Out of the blue she says "Hi, I'm Blah di Blah"...and I'm like.. "...o-k.." accompanied by blank stare. She continues..."oh I thought you might be here for the Gifted and Talented Workshop"...."ummm....no", "Oh sorry but I just thought you looked, well........'gifted'." - WTF?

Here's a photo of me at work today looking gifted.

Get back to work!

EDIT - and......I just had my naturopath appointment and she told me I was "so vibrant for 43". I'm VIBRANT! I feel like the pig in Charlotte's Web (the 1973 version of course)...no wait, that was 'radiant'...whatever. I imagine I'm probably that too.

I am seriously full of myself today.

Shut UP.

Massive Poo Cherry

Bloody Car!

I knew it! Poo Cherry!! As soon as I decide to spend some money on me me me, bloody universe has turned against me. Waits until I buy an LCD TV with my Rudd money and then decides for my car to overheat and be totally stuffed! I will putt putt down to the garage today but seriously, if it's more than a couple of hundred dollars to fix I am totally fucked. And there goes my Naturopath program as well.

On top of that, darling ex husband called and told me his job may get a little dodgy with all these people being laid off. He's in bauxite mining industry and prices have dropped considerably. FAAAARRRRRKKKKK! As much as I whinge and moan about him he gives me HEAPS of money and has never missed a payment in nearly 8 years. He is the reason the kids and I live in a nice area and they get to go to a nice public school. I feel like I want to throw up.

Anyway....I'm finally in ketosis so the fat should start melting at a nice rate now. It's a good half hour uphill walk back from the service station after dropping the car off so that should help. Although, my body hasn't adapted fully yet and my legs are like jelly so I may end up a quivering mess on the side of the road.

I'd better get moving.

EDIT - well I just got back from the mechanic - new radiator needed. It's gonna be around $350 so I think I can manage it with some creative accounting and by buying black and gold brand groceries for next month or so.

However, walking back from the servo I did manage to see a cement truck being cleaned out on the edge of a lake and nature reserve so I've reported them to the enviromental watchdog people and hopefully the universe with be suitably impressed with me and send no more poo cherries. I'm such a suck.

Crush

....about Blockbuster Guy. Thanks so much for your comments ladies. I will point out though that even though I've had a big crush on him for nearly 7 years that doesn't mean that I haven't been going out with other guys or anything. I well and truly did the dating thing after I split with my husband. In the first 3 years after we split I think I had nearly 30 dates from guys I met on RSVP (but that's a whole other story :oS )

Don't worry, I'm not sitting at home pining for BB Guy, I just get all fluttery if I see him around. I think he's probably married, or maybe has been most of the time I've been here. But I guess the only way to find out is to chat again so if we get talking again I will let you know. He IS very yummy ;o)

BB Guy update

......

I SPOKE TO BLOCKBUSTER GUY !!!!! OMG. ....Ok - the other week I actually ran into him in Kmart. I was there with my son looking at some shoes for him. I turn into the kids shoe aisle and there he is! OMG! So, I had this whole 'line' I was going to use on him...well..ok....the line was actually 'hey there Blockbuster Guy'..creative I know. But, he was on the bloody phone!! So we just hovered in the aisle silently. Correction, I was silent, he was talking on phone. At one stage he came right over next to me to look at some runners. I think he was just trying to smell me.

So...that was that. THEN last week I decided to just go to friggin' Blockbuster and try to start a conversation with him. I walked in and we did the usual 'Hi'....'Hey' routine and I found a suitable DVD - Journey to the Centre of the Earth 3D.

Firstly I looked like a dick as I took two of the cases instead of one and tried to cover it up with a piss weak joke. Then...he asked how many pairs of 3D glasses I needed. Hmmm...I had to have a think about that one. I started thinking out loud about whether I should watch it or not and that it might make me feel sick with all the motion and such. I also pointed out that the kids had already seen it but they'd want to see it again and so with two kids and one ME that would be THREE pairs of glasses. 

Notice how I subtly managed to point out that there is no...HIM? That it is just me and the kids? Then something quite bizarre and unexpected happened - he spoke back. Actually he didn't just speak back he like....started a whole conversation with me. He told me that HE took his kids to Movie World in QLD and that his daughter (she's 4) totally freaked out at the Shrek 3D thingemy. HE took his kids. Could this mean there is no Mrs Blockbuster Guy? Maybe.

And so begins a new era in my 6 year crush (nearly 7 years) on the Blockbuster Guy. We are now officially - speaking.

Stand by more scintillating progress reports.....

Not looking forward to the school holidays?

1 Million Murdered in 100 Days

Today is the 15th anniversary of the 1994 genocide in Rwanda. Please take a moment today to remember the one million men, women and children murdered in those 100 days.

I feel honoured to be involved in my small way with the 100 Messages of Hope project (through my work) and hopefully will be involved in a larger project "Sustaining Reconciliation in Rwanda" in the not too distant future.

We observed a minutes silence and lit a candle today. Here are some others who did the same....

Pinkness, Hot Tea and Poo Cherries

So I've finally got around to posting. Thing is there's been no real reason for me not posting. I just found it got harder and harder to come back and post, the longer I went. Anyway.....so I had my brain explosion, took a week off work, in which time absolutely nothing changed. So here I am.

Pinkness

I tell a lie. Something did change - my bedroom. I spend a lot of time in here and it had started to resemble something you'd see on Steptoe and Son with piles of magazines, newspapers, articles, clothes...gawd the place was a disgusting mess and I was sitting in it for hours at a time. So...I grabbed a few big boxes and packed up everything that wasn't of immediate need and stuffed it in the shed (and btw the stuff is still there after 3 weeks and I've not missed it so it's yet to be seen what I do with it all).

Then - decided to make my room a 'relaxing haven'. And that involved PINK. Not heaps of it but just enough to change the feel of it. A few pink containers for my desk. A little pink floor rug under my chair and 6 metres of pink organza on the window...ahhhhhh...every time I walk in here there's an ethereal glow of soft pinkness and it immediately relaxes me.

Now I'm not a girlie girl. I look ridiculous in anything resembling a dress (unless low cut and slinky) or anything with a frill or puffy sleeves, but I'm "embracing the pink" and loving it. As a colour to wear, it really suits me too and makes my face light up. A nice soft baby pink t-shirt does wonders for my complexion.

I also bought a makeup mirror with a light and set up all my makeup and stuff on my desk so I've got a nice place to put on my make up in the mornings before work. I'm enjoying that.

Hot Tea

I am scarred for life (unless the vitamin E cream kicks in). I was making myself a hot cup of tea a couple of weeks ago and immediately after I poured the water in the mug, I knocked it over and it's entire contents ran painfully down my right groin and thigh area. I screamed bloody murder and ran to the shower where I stayed for a good 15 minutes under the cold water.

Then it was cold packs and frozen peas for about half an hour until the pain stopped. It was pretty sore and red for a few days and then the blisters started. Ouch....especially in my groin, right where the elastic of my undies goes. Anyway, the blisters came, oozed and dried up and now I'm left with brown flaky discolouration that I'm madly treating with vitamin E. Maybe not scarred for life....it's not like anyone sees my groin - right?

Poo Cherries

Ah....the Poo Cherry. Ya know how people, when they want to describe something extra special that makes everything just perfect they say "that's the cherry on top". Yeah...well my buddy and I coined the phrase "Poo Cherry" a couple of years ago. What's a Poo Cherry? It's that little extra kick in the guts....the Poo Cherry on top of your already massive pile of shit that just makes you want to give up. That's a Poo Cherry. Doesn't have to be anything major...it's just..MORE.

Well I already had my shit pile when my brain was exploding and then came the Poo Cherry - a rental inspection. I'd already put in for leave from work so I could spend a week on ME ME ME...and then I end up spending the week on FUCKING HOUSEWORK. Ok...not the whole week but I couldn't really enjoy myself knowing that the inspection was coming.

There are of course variations on the Poo Cherry. Poo sprinkles happen too. Hot scalding tea down your groin I guess could be classed as one of those (if the Poo Cherry has already occurred). Dickhead loser ex husband emailing to say he can't have kids on the Friday AGAIN because he's going somewhere with skanky ho ex-girlfriend who he's supposed to have broken up with...more Poo Sprinkles. You get the idea. So I've had my fill of poo....basically.

There's more poo but I can't be bothered even talking about it because everyone's got poo. Especially my cat Poppy...or should I say POOPY. She's got diarrhea and I don't really know where to classify that. Just MORE FUCKING POO!!! Poppy doesn't use the litter tray. She likes to poo on the floor next to the litter tray. Which means I have to clean it up with a paper towel. I don't like cleaning up cat diarrhea with a paper towel.....every hour. Poo.

Well. There you have it.

PS - Thanks to everyone who commented or emailed to check up on me. It was much appreciated. I've not been reading or commenting much either lately so I'm going to try and catch up over the next week or so.

I'm going to pretend the last few weeks never happened. Back to it then.....

l'extrémité