Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Hermitizing


Hey there.

I need to hermitize for a while. I'm having major anxiety issues and not sleeping well at all.

Just a combination of a stressful couple of weeks with mammograms and doctors appointments etc, being way behind in my uni reading/study and trying to stay in a diet and exercise routine whilst my 'life' routine is crumbling around me.

Now for the Poo Cherry. The owners are most likely putting the house on the market. Not only that, but my lease expires end of October when 3 major assessments are due and right before exam study week.

I'm trying to be positive as they could just sell to someone else who will rent to us but it's most likely a 'knock down' job which means we are out. Won't be for a little while though as it takes time for the plans etc.

I just can't bear to put the kids through another move as they last one was really devastating for them, having to move from a place we'd rented for 5 years and where they'd virtually grown up. We've been here nearly two years now and they've really only settled in over the last year.

It's going to be hard to find another place we can afford in the area but there is no way I'm going to make the kids change schools so we'll live in a dump if we have to.

Also if it goes on the market I have to allow the agent and random fucking strangers to just walk through my house. I'll have to keep it clean and tidy all the time, which is extremely difficult for me right now.

So...I'm sitting here having a panic attack as we speak. My head is spinning and I feel like I can't breathe. I just want the next 3 months to be over.

I'm still continuing with the 100 Day Challenge etc but just haven't got the mental energy at the moment to write posts, read posts or participate in forums. I might be fine in a week, it might be a month, I really don't know.

So. I'll see you in a bit.

20 comments:

Doris's BEHAG journey said...

Miss you Frankie!! You take all the time you need.

Friday said...

See you when you get back.

Im gonna wait right here!

xx

Sandra said...

Take some deep breaths Frankie.
I so hear your dilemma about having strangers walk through your house. Whenever mum stays with me, she has people come in to help her shower, and I actually get anxiety attacks just at the thought of total strangers walking through my house and spending time in my bathroom...(aaaargh!...)
So hang in there, gorgeous, look forward to having you back soon.
xxx

Kek said...

Ugh. You poor thing :o(
....fingers crossed the house thing works out OK for you. Oh, and everything else, of course.

x

KRISTIN said...

Sorry to hear about your stresful time Frankie. Take each day as it comes and stay as positive as you can... some things you can't help, but you can help yourself, so keep looking after number 1 to keep your sanity. Hope it all goes well xoxo

Magda said...

Hey Frankie, hang in there. There might be tough times ahead but you're a strong person.

Thinking of you and sending you positive vibes.

Cheers

Magda

Caz said...

Remember to breath.
I hope your feeling better really soon

CathyC said...

Take all the time you need-you are doing right by your kids be proud of that! Hang in there!

Nicole said...

Thoughts are with you Frankie. I agree with everyone else. One day at a time and be kind to yourself. We will be right here in blogland waiting for your return. Hope it all works out.

Em said...

Frankie, you'll be missed (thats not to make you feel bad but good cos you contribute so much to all of us). I hope you can remain positive, things will be great and will work out. I also hope you can ask for help from those you trust when you need it.
xxxxoooo

Kerry W said...

Bugger...major poo cherry! Just when everything was coming together for you.

It's just a test Frankie! You can only do the best you can. I really do hope things work out in your favour. Keep your chin up and take it one day at a time. If you need to vent, you know we're all here for you. :-)

Hilary said...

I can totally relate Frankie, I am going through the same shite at the moment and have a deadline of "before tictac comes" - great! How to stress a pregnant woman out!!

Fingers crossed that you get an investor buy it and dont have to move at all...

Hilary xx

Raechelle said...

Hang in there Frankie! You can get through this...we are all sending out positve vibes to you!

cam said...

As everyone else has said - thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. I'm sure you'll manage to get through.

Frankie said...

Thanks guys :o)

I'll be fine. I just need to get on top of things.

"I'll be back" (in best Arnold voice).

Will probably still pop up on facebook cos I can do that from work and I don't need to string more than a few words together LOL!

nwtrunner said...

Hey Frankie

Here's wishing you luck with the housing, the uni, and with sticking with the program!! You can do it :-)

Running and exercise are wunnerful grand things to help get ya through tough times.

Lisa Jane said...

I'll be right here waiting for you to get back, so do what you have to do. God knows we all understand how you feel, especially me.

Take care of you.

LJ
xox

Erika said...

HI Frankie, I completely understand, my studies have been stuffed by my back injury as it's hard to sit at comuter, desk etc and a research proposal may not make it in time. Also I'm still sticking to the 100 day challenge, but will be slower weight loss than anticipated. But as my Masters supervisor said you need to heal yourelf before you heal others. Wise woman. Good luck with everthing. Hope to see you around again when you feel ok. Erika

2010 said...

Oh babe! I feel for you! I remember kids moving when I was younger and I was so jealous cos I had never done it and it sounded so exciting. I think kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. See your uni counsellor now and explain all your worries, if they are tabled now and then you miss an assessment, then they are much more likely to look at your case more favourably!

Flea said...

hang in there matey, one day at a time and yes, just breath!! We moved once cause a rental got put on the market just to find out the house WILL be still a rental, could kick ourselves for the hurry so make double sure before start packing.