Sunday, August 2, 2009

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Frankie doesn't run. She's not fit enough. She has injuries, she has Fibromyalgia...blah blah blah.

I haven't done anything resembling running since January. That wasn't really running, it was just jogging intervals on the treadmill. I wasn't able to continue though as I got severe ankle and shin pain during the intervals. I just resigned myself to the fact that I was never going to be able to do it.

So, since April I've been incline walking, and that is all. I've been religiously walking, 5 nights a week for a minimum 45 minutes. Not a steep incline, only around a 3 and only walking at around a 5. It didn't feel like it was doing anything. But I was wrong.

Today I got out into the shed for my back and arms workout, which was hard. It hurt. My shoulders burned (and not a good burn, an inflamed burn). I decided I really needed to come back in here and have a whinge post 'cos I was really feeling sorry for myself. But, I finished the workout and decided to hop on the tready for a short walk first.

So there I was, walking along and suddenly I decided I'd try some intervals. I'm pretty carbed up after the weekend and thought I'd give it a go.
And then something happened - I ran!

I didn't mean to. I just thought I'd increase the speed a little, up to where I would normally jog, but it just didn't seem fast enough so I kept going..right up to the top of the yellow bit on my scale..10! I have only ever jogged at between 6 and 7. And there was no ankle or shin pain whatsoever (will still need to see how I pull up tomorrow though).

It was easy....for the first 30 seconds, then my lungs started complaining but got through to a minute. It's the fastest I've ever been able to go on the treadmill. There's only two more levels to go up! I kept up the intervals (3 fast walk/1 min run) for another 15 minutes before I excitedly ran inside to tell the children.
However, my new found athleticism was not without incident and harsh lessons learned. These lessons were :

1. If you have lost a significant amount of weight, adjust your sports bra accordingly or risk being beaten severely around the head and shoulders by your own tits.

2. Remember to do your pelvic floor exercises, because at one stage I was sure my fucking uterus was going to fall out.
No, seriously.


Nicole said...

Boobs..... they really are an inconvenience at times... well done on running Frankie !!!!!!! woo hoo.

Miss Tank said...

f**k you are FUNNY!!!

Well done on the run! I freaking HATE running - but do it every now and again for shit and giggles!

keep it up

PS: nice cans ;)

Rachael P said...

Yay good going Frankie. Sorry cant sympathis with the hooters but could understand how they would get in the way. Keep it up you'll be running for longer soon enough.

Tearose said...

ROFL! God you make me laugh. yay on the running! Good for you for persisting. I only wish I had that problem, I can sprint with NO BRA, because seriously.... there ain't nothing there.

Kerry W said...

First of all...bwahahahaha!..."adjust your sports bra accordingly or risk being beaten severely around the head and shoulders by your own tits." The image in my head...priceless! When I read your title I thought you were doing damage of a different the opposite sex. Thought I was in for some juicy

Anyways...about the running - FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!!

Em said...

ahahhahhahah! but Awwwwwwesum!
Bet you are proud of yourself! Good job!

Witchazel said...

LOL I was too jealous to think the boob thing was funny.. but the pelviv floor thin... yep totally!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Vix said...

Meh, too much work to continually adjust the bra, 'specially when you intend to keep losing weight. Invest in a crash helmet I say.

Vic xx

PS - you are fricken hilarious
PPS - great work ;)
PPS - had to add this in cos in my tired, delerious and 'small things' being amusing state, my verification word to leave this comment is 'facur'. Which is amusingly like fucker to me tonight. I am giggling like a bloody idiot and I have a feeling you will understand that??

Lisa Jane said...

Thank god my boobs are shrinking, now all I need is a smaller bra, but when I buy one, they keep shrinking and I need more.

Fucking boobs. They suck.

I can't wait to get my new ones!

Raechelle said...

Good work girl!
and yeah...boobs-haha! fun stuff!

Frankie said...

Thanks Nicole. Yeah..twas painful during those sprints!

Yep Rach..going to try do a little every weekend and hopefully I can build it up.

Hey Fern! Yeah, don't know if I like it or not but it is just something I've never done! Thanks..I like my cans too!

Tea! Mine are only that big 'cos I'm 40% bodyfat! I'm 14D now and I'm usually 12B. I prefer 12B.

Thanks Kerry. I'm actually shy getting the norks out at the moment, I mean wearing low cut tops etc. too obvious, I feel like people are staring. when I am back down to 12B I'll get them out again!

Thanks Em, I am very prouds :o)

Vicki I know exactly what you mean LMAO!!!

LJ I have a draw full of bra's just waiting for me to back into them...although I think I need some new sexy ones!

Thanks Raechelle. Yeah they are a pain. I can't fit into some of my tops and jackets, purely on the boob size! grrrrr

Erika said...

My E cups know what you're talking about!

KRISTIN said...

Woot! Go Frankie on the running... careful of those babies!

Lia Halsall said...

This title and image is hysterical, thanks for the laugh today Frankie. LOL!!

Sandra said...

Frankie you bloody crack me up, just sitting here laughing out loud so hubby and girls are just staring at me like I've lost the plot...
Did some sprinting this afternoon and totally share your pain with the pelvic floor thing...kept looking down at my pants when I finished the sprints 'cause it honestly felt like I'd wet myself and was waiting for it to run down my leg...LOL
Good work with the running, you go Fifi

Frankie said...

Es! I think mine nearly got to E cup..on the way back down now. I hope they don't shrivel up too much though!

He he..thanks Kristin. I need to pin the bra at the back I's the only way they'll stay in one place!

No worries Lia. My boobs aren't getting any other action so you ladies might as well get a laugh out of them LOL!!!

I'm hearin' ya Sandra. And with all the frikkin' water we are supposed to drink. I do warm up (run inside for a wee), weights (run inside for a wee) and then back on the treadmill. Sometimes I need a wee break during that! (for safety LOL!).

LizN said...


nwtrunner said...

Well, as a long-time, but very male, runner, I have no idea what you're talking about!

It's good you're running though and thanks for the pic!!!