Ahhh....

Now I'm happy.

Don't get me wrong, I actually ended up having a much nicer Christmas than anticipated as I made some rules and stuck to them and it worked out quite well ie we will do ALL our visiting on Christmas Day, I will not be my mother's taxi service (love ya really mum). I'm very glad to get back to my normal routine today though.

The kids and I had a lovely morning opening presents yesterday. They scored pretty well and are quite spoilt. I've included photos of them with their 'main' presents this year - an iPod Touch for Alex and NERF Longshot for Ethan (he's got a whole frikkin' arsenal now...luckily they only shoot foam bullets!).

I gave strict instructions for no chocolates for me this year (as I can always pinch a few of the kids ones) but Bad Santa ended up buying me a box of Caramel Belgian Truffles...which have somehow disappeared..well????.it was a really really small box ;)

The kids (via ex-hubby who, it appears is not completely useless after all) gave me a George Foreman steamer which I wanted (yays!) and then mum totally surprised me with a George Foreman Grill! I'd been going on about how I was going to try and find one in the after Christmas sales but she got in first.

Naughty Nanna also got me a bottle of divine Bombay Sapphire Gin, which I shall be sipping with tonic and lime, on my verandah, on lazy Friday afternoons over summer (that seems to be the only time I feel like a drink, other than when I have a social thingemy).

After lunch the kids and I spent an hour at my mum's brother's place and then an hour at her sister's place..that was all.

The best bit was coming home and flaking on the couch under the aircon. The kids and I, all in the same room but all on different media. I nodded off while watching Star Trek Movie, Ethan was watching youtube clips about NERF Gun assault tactics when killing zombies on my laptop with the headphones on and Alex was busy exploring her iPod Touch. Didn't speak much but we were all in the same room which was the best bit :o)

Today I will do more relaxing, read the instructions and recipe books for my George Foreman haul (as I've got big plans for a healthier eating plan for both myself and the kids for 2010 and beyond) and get a cardio workout in this evening. Perfect!

Hope you all enjoyed your Christmas xxx

Merry Christmas Guys!

Yes this was TOTALLY staged and you shoulda heard the little bastards arguing about who should put the star on.

Have a wonderful and safe Christmas everyone xxx

2009 - The Year in Review

Signs

No not signs from above...ACTUAL signs.

I got the ideas from Em and Ali after their comments on a post about my new gym a while back. Have been too lazy to put them up.

I hope everyone's Christmas prep is going well . I finished the last of my Christmas shopping yesterday but still waiting on one of the boys presents to arrive from the UK..not holding out for that one. Might print up a photo of the present and wrap that instead.

Well I'm being badgered to get off here 'cos someone wants to go onto Second Life and into his Tardis he created. I'm going to have a lie down and watch a movie...ahh.....holidays....

x

Hahahaha!

That dickhead social worker guy who I agonised over texting and who didn't even bother replying to my drink invitation just texted me (11pm) ....trying to score an ounce of mull. Hahahaha...idiot!

I advised him that I thought he may have the wrong number, he apologised profusely and said goodbye.

I think that's kinda fucking hilarious. (although I kinda wish he'd done it on purpose).

Get's me in the mood for...hmmmmm....let me think.....

Oh, now I remember....MANFLESH!

Thought for the day

Put on a happeee face

So there's me being happy. No really..I'm feeling a lot better than the last week or so. Knowing I can improve things on my own with supplementation has improved my mood already. Knowledge is power!

Now that I'm posting again here's a catch up...

Wall o' Man and I are putting off our coffee meeting (although I would rather a DRINK meeting) until after New Years as we are both flat out, he's working double shifts, moving house just after Christmas and I'm just not in the mood.

I got a new phone....a Nokia E71 (their version of the Blackberry). It didn't cost me anything as I just had to lock in my current plan for 2 years..which I would have done anyway. Very excited about that as it's like a portable office, syncs with my Outlook and beeps at me ALL day reminding me to do stuff.

Tomorrow is my last day of work for nearly 3 weeks. Don't go back until 5th January. Better still is the fact that it is because the uni is closed and none of it comes out of my annual leave!

The kids are going to Coffs Harbour again this year with their dad. He's taking them to Movie World and some other random World up there in QLD with all their cousins. They are leaving on 31st December and back on 18th January so some nice quiet time there for me (and I really need it).

My sister (in Seattle) is coming over for a couple of weeks (when my kids get back) along with her hubby and my beautiful niece. Haven't seen her since May last year so really looking forward to that.

Hmm...what else?

Oh yeah as you can see from the photo I've coloured my hair again. The foils were growing out and didn't want to get more as my hair was a little dry so put a semi-permanent through. You can still see the foils but they blend in more to disguise the roots.

Project Sexy Bitch 2010 is still ALL GO. I WILL be a Sexy Bitch ...at some time...in 2010.

Umm.....that's about it.

Chemical Heart

What a fucking misery guts I've been.

I was cruising along pretty well (apart from my back/neck problems) until about mid way through last week and then I fell into a major hole. I suddenly just felt NOTHING.

I don't feel that awful anxiety anymore, which is great, as doctor suspected it was purely the combo of study and the wrong meds that made it so bad..but suddenly I just started to feel nothing-at-all. This lasted right up until yesterday, when I had a shower (yes I was smelly).

Then, this morning I was wandering around the shopping complex finishing up my Christmas shopping and realised I was singing along to Bing Crosby and feeling all...Christmassy. Which is good....kinda.

I'd been pretty much ready to go back to the doctor and ask to go back on meds but thought I'd do some research first. After all, I didn't go on the meds for depression in the first place. I went on them for anxiety and sleeplessness. I wasn't depressed at all before I was medicated so no reason I should be depressed now.

Turns out there's a reason. Here's the gos'.

The brain has a bunch of neurotransmitters that signal it to release chemicals, such as serotonin and noradrenaline. The brain also has re-uptake transporters that move serotonin out of the brain after a time. The drugs I was taking blocked the re-uptake transporters so that the serotonin and noradrenaline hung around in the brain for longer and made me happy.

Now that the drugs are completely out of my system, the brain is taking a little while to get used to having to do shit on it's own. The little re-uptake fuckers are running amok and, having quietly increased in number while being suppressed for so long (kinda like the French resistance), are totally cutting loose and re-uptaking every bit of serotonin they can get their filthy little hands on.

It's going to take some time for their levels to drop (I was on drugs for 8 years). So what can I do in the meantime? I can try and get the serotonin and noradrenaline production line working overtime. And for that I need more neurotransmitters to nudge the brain into producing those chemicals.

GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid) is a neurotransmitter. Valerian can help stimulate GABA production naturally (and help with sleep) - so I'll be taking that. I'll also be taking Glutamine, which converts to GABA in the body. I'll also be taking Lysine as that increases the amount of Glutamine that is converted to GABA....simple really.

While doing all this research I had another look at the side effects of taking Tricyclic Anti-depressants. A lot of 'problems' I have, can indeed be attributed to the drug. One side effect I didn't know about until now is 'increase in breast size'..WTF??? Noooooooooo! Not the norks!!! Damn...my bra is getting roomier already.

And that is your science lesson for today.

EDIT - ya know...it's just occured to me how many people probably hit this spot and go straight back on the meds (as I nearly did) not realising that the body needs a period of re-adjustment. The doctor did not explain that to me. Doctors should know this shit.

Thought for the day

Internetless