What a fucking misery guts I've been.
I was cruising along pretty well (apart from my back/neck problems) until about mid way through last week and then I fell into a major hole. I suddenly just felt NOTHING.
I don't feel that awful anxiety anymore, which is great, as doctor suspected it was purely the combo of study and the wrong meds that made it so bad..but suddenly I just started to feel nothing-at-all. This lasted right up until yesterday, when I had a shower (yes I was smelly).
Then, this morning I was wandering around the shopping complex finishing up my Christmas shopping and realised I was singing along to Bing Crosby and feeling all...Christmassy. Which is good....kinda.
I'd been pretty much ready to go back to the doctor and ask to go back on meds but thought I'd do some research first. After all, I didn't go on the meds for depression in the first place. I went on them for anxiety and sleeplessness. I wasn't depressed at all before I was medicated so no reason I should be depressed now.
Turns out there's a reason. Here's the gos'.
The brain has a bunch of neurotransmitters that signal it to release chemicals, such as serotonin and noradrenaline. The brain also has re-uptake transporters that move serotonin out of the brain after a time. The drugs I was taking blocked the re-uptake transporters so that the serotonin and noradrenaline hung around in the brain for longer and made me happy.
Now that the drugs are completely out of my system, the brain is taking a little while to get used to having to do shit on it's own. The little re-uptake fuckers are running amok and, having quietly increased in number while being suppressed for so long (kinda like the French resistance), are totally cutting loose and re-uptaking every bit of serotonin they can get their filthy little hands on.
It's going to take some time for their levels to drop (I was on drugs for 8 years). So what can I do in the meantime? I can try and get the serotonin and noradrenaline production line working overtime. And for that I need more neurotransmitters to nudge the brain into producing those chemicals.
GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid) is a neurotransmitter. Valerian can help stimulate GABA production naturally (and help with sleep) - so I'll be taking that. I'll also be taking Glutamine, which converts to GABA in the body. I'll also be taking Lysine as that increases the amount of Glutamine that is converted to GABA....simple really.
While doing all this research I had another look at the side effects of taking Tricyclic Anti-depressants. A lot of 'problems' I have, can indeed be attributed to the drug. One side effect I didn't know about until now is 'increase in breast size'..WTF??? Noooooooooo! Not the norks!!! Damn...my bra is getting roomier already.
And that is your science lesson for today.
EDIT - ya know...it's just occured to me how many people probably hit this spot and go straight back on the meds (as I nearly did) not realising that the body needs a period of re-adjustment. The doctor did not explain that to me. Doctors should know this shit.