Monday, May 10, 2010

Dazed and Confused

Spent most of the week in a daze. Woke up 3am most mornings and not able to get back to sleep because I was sick with worry and have started having random anxiety attacks again.

Fuck. How did I get myself into this position at nearly 45 years of age???? I have NOTHING.

If I'd stayed with my ex I'd have a beautiful house on half an acre, half way paid off my now.

Is that why people stay together, even if they are miserable? Because they can't afford to leave? I suspect so.

Oh well. I've never done things like everyone bad.

Will spend all my spare time at work this week looking for another job. Just over six weeks until my last paycheck.



Kerry W said...

I'm thinking of you too Frankie, and hoping and praying that things work out very, very, soon. XOX

nwtrunner said...

You don't have NOTHING. You have Ethan and Alex. You have your fantastic writing skills. You have your sense of humour. You seem to have a lot of good friends. You have a lot more than many of the people with whom we share this planet.

You'll get through this :-)

Em said...

Rather be happy than have some house and feel miserable. I agree many people must stick with relationships simply because they think it is easier.
I agree you have your kids your freedom your space to do whatever YOU want!
Chin up ok? things will work out, everybody here loves YOU!

Iris Flavia said...

Maybe it looks dark. But on the long run.. isn´t there that saying, "better an end with terror than terror without an end"?

Wishing you look on the job-search!

Memphis Steve said...

The gym where I work out fired my trainer on Wednesday. Now it's Friday and I've got to motivate myself to go and work out alone. Argh!

Frankie said...

Thanks everyone. Geez, sorry I've been so slack in replying.

Steve...yep I think it would be great to have someone there pushing you all the time. Would be hard to get used to not having someone there.