*Yawn*

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I just got out of bed (9am) and am exhausted. This was quite a big Christmas for me in regards to visiting and visitors and running around so I've just crashed. My Fibromyalgia is playing up as I've not had enough sleep. My muscles are aching and I'm all scrunched up from all the driving and sitting in uncomfortable seats at other people's houses for hours. But still enjoyed seeing all the family and having a laugh.

I felt very spoilt this Christmas. Got some lovely presents. My kids gave me some gorgeous mineral eyeshadows from Barekiss Mineral Cosmetics (the colours I got are below). I also got a great denim jacket and some Belgian truffles. Mum got me a floppy sun hat, a lovely summer bag and a white gold and blue topaz necklace...and more chocolates.

We spent a noisy Christmas Day at my uncle's house with most of the family, got home around 5pm and visited some friends. Kids ran amok in the pool while adults had some champagne.

Boxing Day at my mum's and then my aunt's (more food) and home to try and clean before a friend popping over Saturday morning, then movies with friends and kids to see The Day the Earth Stood Still...THEN Supre so my daughter could spend some Christmas money on a little black dress, and finally enjoying an evening of red wine and pizza with a friend and her son.

I'm so tired and I've got a belly like someone who is six month's pregnant!

My babies are leaving 4am tomorrow morning for two weeks in Coffs Harbour with their dad (his family is over east). Need to pack and organise today and do more cleaning as the place is just a wreck. Then, 2 weeks on my own. Going to miss them soooo much as have not been away from them for more than a weekend over the last 5 years. They are both starting to fret a little, although I'm sure they will love seeing all their cousins and their other Nanna.

Well I'm going to finish this cuppa and head off down to get the paper. Need to do a big list today as I'm sure I'll forget something. Also need to pop down to shops and get some cottage cheese and other yummy stuff for the week. Making sure kids and ex husband take all the left over chocolates and nuts with them. Feeling so crappy, just want to feel bright and clear again. Will weigh in tomorrow after trying to get rid of some of this bloat today.

Frankie

Cocktail Hour...finally

Cheers!

hic!

Well I did it....

.....after wanting to for ages I finally got my nose pierced and I love it! (and yes it hurt). I got a little .25ct diamond and white gold stud. Only had it done yesterday so still red and won't be healed properly for another 4 weeks so need to be really careful as if it comes out accidentally ie towels, clothing, you've only got about five minutes to get it back in as the cartilage on your nose loves to close up very quickly.

My daughter loves it but my son hates it and, apparently hates me now because "my friends will see it and think you're weird". He's still sulking but I'm sure he'll get over it eventually.

Christmas Drinks

Merry Christmas Ladies!

From Jason Lewis

http://uk.imdb.com/name/nm0507314/

Scrooge

I'm really not looking forward to the next couple of weeks. As much as I say I will just enjoy Christmas and eat what I like without guilt, I just can't. I feel fat and guilty with every piece of crap I put in my mouth. I feel like I am suffocating sometimes with event after event and food, food, bloody food.

Yes I know I could just say no, and I have been...no to events as well as to the food. Did the work Christmas bash on Friday and felt sick and had stomach cramps most of the weekend. Even though my diet has been far from perfect this last month or so (no weight loss to speak of) I've still been eating good food - just cheating on kids bikkies and muesli bars etc. But, eating those samosas and money bags and pizza on Friday (as well as a couple of drinks)..ugh. My body just wasn't used to all that fat and yuck. Then to mum's for lunch on Saturday...

She's so difficult when it comes to food as if I tell her I am "dieting" she gets all stressed and tries to cook something healthy, but I decided to just let it go and have my fortnightly lunches at her place as my 'cheat' meal. Mum is supposed to be watching her diet as she is overweight, she's got Type 2 Diabetes and clogged arteries, but, it appears she sees my giving the ok to prepare "normal" food as a green light to go all out and an excuse for HER to overindulge. The result is going from a chicken and salad wrap to arriving to chips and cashews on the table, full on roast chicken and fat laden veges, broccoli and cauliflower with cheese sauce and then ice cream for dessert! WTF??? She knows I am still trying to lose weight so what would possess her to serve up something like that?

Anyway, I'm determined not to be my mother, nor any other member of my gluttonous family for that matter so I'm going extra clean until Christmas, then have my 3 planned days that I've got to fulfil lunch/dinners and then I'm done. Kids are off to Coffs Harbour for two weeks with my ex on 29th at which stage I will be chucking any biscuits, muesli bars and any other tempting foods and having two weeks of detoxing and getting back on track. I've got the first week off work too so I really want to just get into a routine for the rest of the holidays. I'm back at uni on 25th February and need to have a routine going by then as it only gets harder once I have to factor study back in.

I am going to use green amber and red tags for the day to stipulate whether I have stuck to plan or not. I pinched this off Shar's blog. It's such a good idea and great for accountability. Green is if stuck to planned diet and training, amber is if stuck to either diet or training. Red is not stuck to diet or training! Hmmmm so far all my days have been amber or red but really want to get into the green YEAH~!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope my friends understand. I feel like I've been saying no to going out for years now - with varying excuses : I'm on a diet, I'm off carbs, I can't fit into any of my clothes, I can't afford it. Been asked out already for a couple of things ie drinks etc when my kids are away but have said no. And, this time it's because I just don't want to. I don't want to go out, for all the above reasons. I know people probably roll their eyes back in their heads as I've been going on and on about getting in shape and losing weight for some time now, but I'm doing it this time. I'm making myself accountable and you can bet I'm going to have my hot new bod plastered all over the internet when I do it!!

That's enough of a rant for today. Not going to work as feeling really unwell since yesterday. Woke up very seedy also this morning. I think I am dehydrated. Should be at work as it's last week before we break up for Christmas for two weeks but if I don't rest I will end up even worse and I've still got a heap of kids stuff on the next few nights, I need to stay on top of things.

Might catch up on some half finished blogs this weekend.

Cya

Frankie

For Doris

Hey Doris. Thought you could use this next time you get an Anonymous comment, although very handy for any situation. Click list to enlarge.

Thought for the day

Thought for the day

Quantum of Hotness

Daniel Craig

Great in tight pants......

.....better shirtless.....and wet!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0185819/

Quantum of Hotness

Daniel Craig

Great in tight pants......

.....better shirtless.....and wet!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0185819/

Thought for the day

Addicted to Trueblood

I'm totally addicted to a new series on HBO (I watch it on Sidereel)

It's by the makers of Six Feet Under. It's quirky and sexy and I've watched all 10 episodes over the last few days, can't get enough of it. Here's a write up from Sidereel.

True Blood, based on Charlaine Harris' "Southern Vampire" novel series, comes from Six Feet Under creator Alan Ball. Here is what he has to say about the plot of the series:
"Having shed one of their more antisocial habits, the vampires "decide to make their presence known, hire PR firms, and sort of ... come out of the coffin. A lot of churches are horribly against them, but they are very wealthy, and contribute a lot of money to Republican politicians so that they can legitimize their holdings."

Also, "Vampires are a great metaphor for minority groups that struggle for rights and recognition, but also for Republicans, in that they're vicious and bloodthirsty and will destroy anything that gets in their way."

Ball noted that, "It's more popcorn TV than Six Feet Under. It's very raucous, more entertaining, much, much funnier. I'm done peering into the abyss for a while."

Enjoy!

No, I do NOT have to like my body!

Just reading an article in WHO magazine entitled "The Body Issue - stars open up about the pressure to be perfect and learning to love their bodies". You know what? Great! if you are happy with your body I applaude you. If you are a size 16 and love your curves that's totally wonderful. But I'm not. And why should I be? My body is a symptom of an extremely unhealthy lifestyle. A lifestyle of eating whatever I want, whenever I want and sitting around on my ass instead of getting out there and active. Why on earth would I want to be happy with it?

I have a right to not like my body. I was given a perfectly good body by nature and I've used and abused it. This is not how it should look or how it should work. Sometimes I think people forget what "normal" is. People's ideal of what is normal size has expanded, along with our waistlines until suddenly size 14 is normal. No, size 14 isn't normal it has merely become "average".

I've had to battle all sorts of comments from people while I've tried to lose this weight. Many of the people hadn't known me before I put on these 20kg so they don't know that I was always, until about 4 years ago, naturally slim and lanky. But everyone seems to have an opinion when they hear I am trying to lose weight. My "favourite" is "oh you look fine, why would you want to lose weight?" or "you're at that age, why can't you just be happy with your body". Well...I will tell you why not...

I have a waist measurement at my belly button of 100cm.. that's 1 metre. No that's not my smallest part - which is 84cm - but right there in the middle where all that internal fat lies. Now the government recommendations for belly button measurements for women is that it should be under 80cm : a full 20cm less than me. So, by having this 100cm "waist" and between 45-50% bodyfat I am classed as obese, almost morbidly obese. Now you wouldn't think that looking at my photos but that's the situation. And what does the 100cm waist mean for me? It means I am at extremely high risk of developing chronic illness such as diabetes, heart, kidney or liver disease, cancer and stroke - and I'm only size 16.

http://www.measureup.gov.au/internet/abhi/publishing.nsf/Content/Home

I feel very worried for those sizes 14, 16, 18 and above who are having the notion of "being happy with their curves" shoved down their throats by would be "do-gooders". Bugger that! I'd rather live.

Negativity vs Honesty

Hey there cyberspace. This is the first of two posts I really needed to get out there as I've thought about them a lot and just need to "verbalise" as such.

So firstly, the issue of negativity vs honesty.

I'm a pretty happy person. I'm actually happier now than I've been in a long while. I've put myself in the position where I can be happy and have the freedom to be even happier. My friends would call me a "fun" person. This is because I am. They would also call me an "honest" person. Maybe too honest at times but you can be assured if I'm gonna tell it, I'm gonna tell it like it is. It's what I'm known for. Sometimes people tell me I reveal too much about myself but I don't know any other way. I don't care what people think of me (most of the time) and am happy to express my opinions about most things. Since I've been more honest with myself and others, my stress levels have improved and I am more content.

I've had a very difficult few years since my divorce but I have always looked on the bright side of things and always found the positive in any situation. Even if that positive side is not yet apparent, I'll often say "this has happened for a reason, and I'm sure all will be revealed soon enough". I've embraced change, even when it's scary, I've brought up two kids on my own, put up with harrassment from my ex-husbands lunatic girlfriend and still managed to hold down a part time job and study at university. I could not have done this if I'd been a negative person and not found the humour in almost every situation. It's how I cope. Because, even when the shit hits the fan...most things are still pretty bloody hilarious (well ok maybe some are just downright bizarre).

Unfortunately there are those out there who confuse honesty with negativity. I don't think if I complain about something it makes me a negative person, it makes me an honest person. If something or someone pisses me off, I am pissed off! I'm not going to pretend I'm not. Hell yes, I'm responsible for my own feelings - and I do get annoyed! But I'm not going to "own" it by myself. If I'm annoyed it's for a good reason - and that reason is usually because someone else has done the wrong thing or that I have gotten myself into a situation that I am not happy with. By taking total responsibility for my feelings I am in effect letting that person continue to do whatever it was that was wrong or to let a certain situation remain that is wrong ....... and that's just not right.

We can't go around pretending everything is perfect and that nothing bothers us or nothing will ever change or improve. We have to acknowledge faults, problems, annoyances so we can then address the situation. Acceptance and admittance of a situation or problem are the first steps in resolving it. Only then can we truly be happy.

Thought for the day

War Paint

I've been dying to get another tattoo. I have a small one at the base of my spine (see my before and after photos) and it's kind of addictive as I have been wanting another one ever since.

The first one was I guess, a "divorce" tattoo. I wanted to do something to signify how I felt at the time (even though I got the tattoo 2 years after I split with my husband). It's the Chinese symbol for 'hope'. I thought about it for a long while and at that time it meant a lot to me (and still does). Frankly, I got sick of people saying "don't get your hopes up". "Don't get your hopes up" about a job...."Don't get your hopes up" about a guy.... why do people say that all the time?? As far as I'm concerned, if you can't 'get your hopes up' then there's just not much point in living! So, that's the tattoo I decided on.

Now I am thinking about my next one. I've known since I got the last one, which one I will get next but it was just deciding on when and where. I wanted to do it as a kind of ritual I guess. A reward, something earned. The tattoo is the Chinese symbol for 'strength'. It's beautiful and I'm definitely getting it but I feel like I need to earn it. So, when I've worked my butt off physically and mentally, I will get it done. Strength to me is emotional, spiritual and physical so I just need to wait for the right time and hopefully that will be soon...maybe after this next 12 weeks. I still don't know where I am getting it - whereabouts on my body that is. I'll decide over the next few weeks...I think it will be my reward. So, I'm open to suggestions!!

Here's the art. It's only small, about 1.5 inch max.

In the meantime I'm going to go get my nose pierced which I have been dying to get done for years. Just need to find out how much it costs and try to put some money aside as at the moment it's all going on layby payments for kids Christmas presents.

That's it for tonight.

Cheers

Thought for the day

Self explanatory.......

Gerard Butler

Actor, 39

HOT

Gerard Butler...

...Shirtless

HOTTER!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0124930/

Self explanatory.......

Gerard Butler

Actor, 39

HOT

Gerard Butler...

...Shirtless

HOTTER!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0124930/

Thought for the day