Sweet Relief

Oh.My.God. I am SO glad that's over.

Had my mid-semester maths exam this morning and I am relieved beyond words....'cept for all the words I am going to write now.

I got about 4 weeks behind in my studies..as I do every semester and then had to rush to catch up. Unfortunately that does not work with MATHS. If you miss one lecture or tutorial (yeah I wagged a couple) you have no fucking idea what they are talking about in the next tutorial.

All the lessons build on each other so by the time we had our 'mock' exam two weeks ago - I got NOTHING correct. Actually it was worse than that - I didn't even know what I was supposed to do with the numbers.

Frikkin' quadratic equations and factoring and converting to binary and...my most feared foe....simultaneous equations (although I did have a dream about them the other week and woke up thinking I knew how to do them..when in fact I only knew how to do them IN MY DREAM).

I have spent the last 2 weeks cramming like a motherf*cker and finally collapsed in a heap last night unable to understand the last two chapters and unable to actually remember any of the previous chapters I had worked on.

I woke up at 4am (FAAARK!) and cried again..well actually I was too tired to cry, I kinda just sat in my comfy chair while my tear ducts dry retched. I tried again to work on the last two chapters but then thought "fuck it" as it was 3 hours to exam time and if I didn't know it then I was never gonna know it.

I try not to study for the hour or two before an exam. I find it can make me very tired. So I just sat and watched TV for an hour and tried to get my mind to calm down.

Got to the exam and there were all the little Vegemite's studying madly, trying to force some extra formulas into their little heads before exam time. Again.."fuck it"...and sat there with my eyes closed, trying to catch a few more zzzz's.

I was basically packin' it. I didn't think I'd fail but I was sure I'd only just pass (and it was worth 30% of the final mark). But then something happened. A weird kinda calm came over me. I just started working my way through.

When I got to a couple of the longer equations I just stared and thought "WTF?" but then, suddenly, I started seeing patterns in the numbers and things started popping out at me and whizzing around in my head......

I kid you NOT, it was like an episode of that TV Show 'Numb3rs'. Very surreal.

Then I was done. I couldn't believe I was the 3rd person to finish. I felt like I got everything right, although I'm sure I didn't, but I think I did pretty bloody well. I guess I will know when the results come in (no idea when that is).

So I am here..collapsed in my chair. Thinking I should workout. Thinking I should do.... something.

But I'm not going to DO anything.