Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Internet dating sucketh majorly


What the hell was I thinking???

Gawd it's just awful..and I've not even gone on an actual date! My profile's only been up 36 hours and I'm over it.

I used to do it. But I was a bit younger then. It's suddenly become all weird and icky. And do you know why? MY AGE.

I may be 44 but I don't feel it. Unfortunately the only guys who are interested in women over 40 seem to be men nearing 50!

Sorry, but I like younger guys......it's a fact. Even when I started internet dating at 36 I somehow always ended up younger men. I think I only went on 2 dates out of about 25, where the guy was older than me.

Now, it's just bloody depressing. I'm not dating an old guy. Seriously, I'm getting emails and 'kisses' from guys who look like grandads to me. And these guys are only mid to late 40's!

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with guys that age, if you are already with them. I know many of you have fabulous hubbies in that age range. My ex is 48. I met him when he was 30 when he was hot..now he's not. But if you age WITH someone it's totally different (and of course you're in love with them so it doesn't matter).

Now, the majority of guys under 40 won't even consider a woman over 40..even if she's got a really cute, cheeky photo and amusing bio.
I know I'm sounding like a superficial cow but sex and sensuality are a big part of who I am. I NEED to be really attracted to someone physically. That's not to say that other things don't matter. I need mental stimulation just as much. If you're hot and a dumbass you won't last long around me. I don't care about material crap. I'm the one that usually ends up with the starving artist type or musician...I just need a very BIG spark to start with or I'm just not interested.
Internet dating is not my first choice of how to meet someone, but since I met my husband through a friend at the pub 1990, I've not met anyone else, any other way. Everyone bags internet dating but seriously....how they hell else am I going to meet someone?? I don't get chatted up at the pub. I haven't met anyone at work or at uni. Seriously - HOW???
Fuckit. I'm sick as a dog and got a house inspection tomorrow and all I'm doing is checking email to see which creepy guy is undressing me with his eyes now. Brrrrrr.
Yes, yes I know. I should just go about my normal little life and Mr Fuckingawesomely Wonderful will just leap out and whisk me away to domestic bliss.
EDIT - after a cup of tea and a lie down I've decided I need to be the one doing the 'contacting'. I've just been sitting on my arse and waiting for younger guys to miraculously come across my profile, which is impossible if their search parameters stop at 40.
There's quite a few guys on there I like the look of but I'm too chicken to contact them. I don't like rejection. I will work on my fat loss some more and then go crazy on there. Yes..ok, that sounds like a plan. If I want Man Flesh, I will have to just go out and get me some. I will become the hunter...not the hunted.
PS - BB Idiot has blocked me from seeing his profile. I don't know why...


Kerry W said...

I agree Frankie...don't settle for second best. I have myself a younger one (after first having an older one...way too much baggage!), and they're definitely hotter..lol... :-)

Just concentrate on you girl...you're only gonna get hotter, and then they'll be falling over you (the younger ones that is). ;-)

Pizza Gal said...

Yep, how do you meet people, through other people thats how! And it probably seems like most people are already in coupleland.
I know its not really helpful to say, but you know what, you will find the right guy. I found my boy not in the most greatest ways. I'd rather the issues with how I met him and stuff than being stuck with yucky emotional blackmail controlling ex husband I did have!
PS: I'm not convinced internet dating is for you, I'd think once you are more confident you should get out into some fun clubs or sports or some shit to meet new exciting people.

Pizza Gal said...

why has he blocked you, wheres the fun in that then?
i know sometimes we just need to rant about it, let it out and then we're over it!

Tearose said...

Hi Frankie! I definitely agree with Kerry. I met my husband on the net lol, on an online game called Runescape haha. He quite a bit younger then me.

I'll tell you what I told a friend, I really think the right comes along when you are not looking, when you are just happy being you. I have never ever met someone when looking. Its always caught me be surprise.

Do what you enjoy, have fun and he will fall into your lap :P

Caz said...

Internet dating does suck.
I did it when I was younger..
14-20 really...
But im a bit of a homo as well, so its harder to meet girls when your a girl.. who likes girls.
I also don't look obviously gay..
So if i'm ever at a gay club, I'm the token straight girl..
With my hand bag, and my long hair.

You shouldn't settle.
You should go for it though.
Sexual attraction and that spark is SO important.

I have a feeling it will find you.

I hate having to make profiles sound interesting and witty..
I'm not great at selling myself, its fucking hard.

I hope the right, hot looking perfect aged honest, sweet, caring amazingly good in the sac guy falls into your lap very soon!!


Frankie said...

Em, I just found out he hasn't blocked me. No-one can see it. I think it's blocked still from me getting him locked out...he he he

Hey Yvette. Yeah, I know there are some great guys out there. I'm not one of those who believes the net is full of whacko's...I mean, none of us are whacko's..right? he he My son just got membership to Runescape. I'm more a Diablo, Lord of Destruction girl myself LOL.

Hi Caz. Yeah, settling sucks. I did that with my ex. I can't do pubs though ..over it, so the net seems easist. But the profile IS hard. I wrote mine while watching a horror movie so I don't think that helped! I do have a tendency to have things fall in my lap...although never a guy, but I'm living in hope!

judestone said...

A cup of tea and a good lie down ALWAYS fixes things. I think your hunter-gatherer attitude will reap big time benefits.

I think no matter what tools you use to do it (internet or whatever) you getting out and hunting down your own prize is the best.

BTW, I'm sure you can still lock BB out even though you can't see his profile! ;p

Frankie said...

Hi Jude. Yeah...good ol' cuppa fixes EVERYTHING.

I do enjoy the chase...I will aim to do it again in the near future (and when I can fit into some more of my smaller clothes!)

Top End Girl said...

Hey Frankie, I found the same thing, I think I was 42 and kept getting 60 year olds!!!! So I told a little porky and said I was 38. What a differnce that made. Met a few people, and this time I was determined to give people a 'second' chance. The reason this came about was that all of my friend's boyfriends/husbands were sooo nice, not necessarily my physical type, but I kept finding myself saying "Why can't I meet soemone like that". So unless someone turned up on the first date wearing thongs and a huge plumbers crack - yep that was my first internet date, I have some class - if they asked to meet again and I thought they were 'nice...but' I said yes. Second fellow had 2 dates, nah not me, 3rd fellow, not my type at all, older but we're still together nearly 4 years later!!!! And there ain't nothing wrong with the sex drive of SOME fifty year olds!!!

Yep I confessed I was older, and he confessed he was actually an occasional smoker - something I didn't want. So don't give up yet, try Spice of Life. My sister had 20 dates, and is now with her fellow, another friend had just one date and found her husband.

I do know how frustrating it is, I was only going to try 3 times, lucky me!!!

Frankie said...

You know what Essie? When I lose some more weight I'm gonna be 38 too! Who cares?

When I was doing it about 4 or 5 years ago I said I was 36 (when I was 40) and no-one batted an eye lid, and those who I told didn't seem to mind (and we went on second or more dates..and 'stuff').

And yeah, I don't give people a second chance. I'm like Elaine from Seinfeld and will dismiss people for some ridiculous reasons and then I'll be spewing when I see them all happy and gorgeous with some other girl. I think I let some good ones get away back then.

Robyn said...

Oh gawd, Frankie!! I know your pain! Ironic that your post should deal with this topic at this time, as I was considering online dating only today... but then reflected on past experiences & decided not to. Here's a sample of lessons learnt: 1. Almost every time I let a guy see my photo, I never heard from him again. 2. There's a lot of superficial sleeze-bags onlie, so you've got to sift through the rubble to find one or two rough diamonds. 3. There's a lot of men with major issues online! Fortunately, that becomes evident quite quickly. 4. A lot of men seem to be lying about their age... I agree with you, 40-something guys shouldn't be looking 60-something. 5. Men who try to look sexy in their profile photo make me want to vomit. 6. Unfortunately, a photo & a profile doesn't accurately correlate with compatability. Some really ugly guys are just goddamn sexy when you meet them 3D in real life... but who wants to take the risk online!!

I'm starting to think of trying something like dinner-4-six or speed dating. Problem with most speed dating options, though, is that the age limit seems to be 40. Which is my age.

I may need to just accept the fact that most men piss me off. I should get a cat. :)

Nicole said...

Frankie.. go on as many dates as you can. Don't wait for them. Decent guys like girls who know what they want. So go get it !

Frankie said...

haha..Robyn..DO it, go on!

Nah I know it can really suck. And they do lie about their age. A guy sent me a 'kiss' tonight and he had his age as 42. But he gave me the photo password of '1962'.. doh!

My superior cyberstalking abilities enabled me to track him down on facebook and yep, he's 47. He's a bit yummy though. Really athletic build, great smile, shaved head..tattoo...awesome teeth LOL!

I think I will Nicole but not for a while. Need to get some confidence back first!

Pizza Gal said...

ooohhh! he sounds pretty good, I like a good set of teeth too!
Actually it would be kind of fun to sit there with you gushing over hot guys. hehehe

nwtrunner said...

Frankie - interesting post to read as my 50th looms closer and the grey hairs in my beard become more prominent....

Ah well, we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. Time passes.

Good luck and yah - get out there! :-)

Frankie said...

haha...Alasdair,nothing to do with grey hair whatsoever (BB Idiot's beard was nearly totally grey if he didn't shave!). The guys I'm referring to are out of shape, with sad eyes that make them look dead on the inside, or those with red noses and beer guts..